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Advisor
Posts: 5,065
Registered: ‎05-14-2010
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Re: MT

Don't have one.

 

The weekend of black friday was the largest 3 day gun sales total in history. Tons of guns out there, even more ammo.

 

Enough left wing political hack judges have been replaced by right wing political hacks so that  the new revisionist view of the 2nd amendment is well affirmed.

 

We're pretty well stuck with what we've created.

 

Emigration, I guess.  There are places that are trying to maintain a civil society although things happen in those places, too (like Dunblane), just less.

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Honored Advisor
Posts: 6,005
Registered: ‎07-18-2011

Re: Say a prayer......

[ Edited ]

I guess here is as good as anywhere------------------ Conn.------Relationships, talent, and weakness.  And our love of the trivial.

 

there are a couple of things about the tragedy that stand out to me, they get a little personal ---as they do for most of us.  I want to view them in a more basic way-----U know, the kind of thoughts that I learn from and are not based on legislation or a political action agenda.

  Relationships----- It took me a few years to understand my own personality.  I was getting lost in the specifics, like we do as a country.  I love baseball, theatre, music, archetecture, financial stats, desert, etc, etc, etc  All crap.  What I do have is a strong enjoyment and appreciation for talent.  I smell it, I search for it, I know it when I see it.  I don't want to touch it or get to know it, I just want to experience it.  It is not always pretty, but serious God given talent is worth driving to see and worth the time to encourage.  I will travel to see a great guitar be it Paul, Clapton, Feleciano or Page, a lecture on bio-chemistry, a new manufacturing plant, or a bridge builder in Iowa.  An operatic tenor, a cut up the footbal field by a guy named sayers, a proformance by Jerry Lewis on the night Dean Martin dies,  etc. etc.  

Relationships(marriages, partnerships, or friendships) find strength in recognizing and sharing talent.  Good marriages, businesses, friends(even marketing friends) recognize the strengths and weaknesses of their members, delegate, share, and appreciate.  It is what differentiates succeessful from average in many cases.  EVERY person has weakness, and talent.

We learned early on in our house that my wife is not in charge of home security or defense.  Not even discipline.  She is much too agressive.  We wanted to change minds not bandages.  Neither of us are as capable alone as we are together.  She is my friend and partner.

A message to our young people that being a single parent is ok, or a message that it is wrong--- both messages are missleading.  I would like to get the message across that unselfish parenting by two parents has such a tremendous advantage in combined talent doing a difficult job which always has the potential to become much more difficult than immagined.  Now parenting is much more difficult for all families in a town in connecticut and many elsewhere.

As important as recognizing and combining talent, the recognition of lack of talent is just as important if we are to do our best as a family or a society.  I hold a degree in something for which I have a talent.  I am smart enough to know my weaknesses.  I know that if I home school my children I would be their best teacher and their worst.  I want my children to know the difference, to experience a teacher with a special talent and realize the limits of that talent by comparing them to other teachers.  Great relationships require work and love of something other than self.   They require the vision of more than just one. 

If the killer friday had a weakness that led to this tragedy it was nowhere near as shocking as the weakness of a parent who chooses to provide access to the weapons thinking she is protecting her child.  Some of us can go on fighting for our right to own a gun that will kill faster than regret, and by the way the neuclear genie is out of the bottle too,  so what.   I think it is more important to make sure we can recognize our weaknesses and handle them.  This mother was deadly wrong.  We all are from time to time.  Often we just get lucky.

In my life I need to take a break from debating the trivial(guns control, child custody, our rights, hunting, etc) and have a personal debate with myself over  weaknesses and talent and how I handle and help others to handle them.  Am I waisting opportunities to be the best husband, neighbor, father-------------- friend?  Am I so careful not to offend that I miss the opportunity to politely share when I see something that bothers me?  All her friends want to praise her and blame the mentally damaged kid.  Maybe they just don't want to look in a mirror.

 Take care of those three boys----------- its a big job.

Contributor
Posts: 11
Registered: ‎09-02-2011
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Re: Say a prayer......

i have not had any insight  or info as to what circumstances led to this tragedy, but I think that society needs 

to recognize that mental illness is a disease as surely as cancer is. But can have more devastating results.

 

It is illogical to blame firearms or other weapons, if the individual hears voices, etc. I think we would do well 

to have public funding to care for this type of illness. Some might say it can't be cared for, I would want to

here from those who have studied it.  Avoiding these occurences would be worth the cost. 

 

We have to be able to protect ouselves, no one else can gurantee it. My wife and I are vulnerable, I expect to be the frontline

if necessary.

Advisor
Posts: 1,361
Registered: ‎06-25-2010
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Re: Say a prayer......

SW,

 

Very deep and very appropriate.  I think we are all sad about this event.  I have gone from being angry with the mom who homeschooled the kid to compassion for her.  Maybe she did not have the money to get professional care for her son...I really do not know.  A lot of  people got angry with my gun comment, right or  wrong I think we should continue to have this  conversation.  As a society we cannot just go on as usual because things will not get better, they will get worst.  There will be some nut ball out there that will want to kill 50 or 60 kids as opposed to 20. 

 

How do we prevent it?  I have mix emotions on this now,  do we relax the laws and say EVERYONE CAN carry and conceal a weapon?  Have  things go back to the wild, wild west?  Maybe.  Maybe we have a society that knows if they make a mistake they can get shot.  Would that work?? Maybe. Maybe,  that  argument you had in the parking lot now turns to a mass shooting because everyone has a gun and things got out of control.  Maybe

 

Or do we lock up every person with a mental illness to prevent this.   

 

NO, NO , No , none of these things are plausible.  I guess you are right.  You have to know yourself and your limitations. 

 

 I have to raise my three kids with the best loving home that I can possibly give them.   I have to make sure that my kids know that they are visitors on Earth and that they must treat our neighbors with respect and common courtesy.  I get it . 

Honored Advisor
Posts: 6,005
Registered: ‎07-18-2011
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Re: Say a prayer......

Gio,

 

We cannot prevent it.  Risk is as inherent to parenting as it is to farming.  What we can do is manipulate the odds.

Every farmer in our area has a few weapons and most enjoy hunting.  Each one handles the odds differently.  My choice was to park the guns at my dad's house while my boys were growing up. He lived close.

Ate dinner yesterday with neighbor who kept lots of guns & ammo siting around while his kids were small.  I noticed he is handling it a little differently as a grandpa than he did as a father.

 

Mental issues-------- one thought,  We have been in a time period where it has been fashionable to deal with childhood problems through medication.  From discipline to mental illness, drugs have been developed to help.  There is a measured amount of risk here as well, sometimes major problems are just masked.  Had a start of a good conversation with a friend in Iowa as he took me by one of the old state run farms.  A reminder of our long history of dealing with these problem.  Parents will often hold onto responsibilities they are not prepared to handle----You are forever the Parent no matter where the child lives.

The idea that these are rare occasions---------- rarely on the news or this deadly, but not rare at all in some neighborhoods.

That is what disturbs me the most---------We expect it in communities across the country.------- How many million of US children are raised in communities where we expect killings on a weekly basis------- That is how we have earned 3rd world status.

 

Prevention---------------overall---- not possible.  Societies around the world have controled weapons better than we do, and killing still happens.  Bad things can and will happen.  Whether the weapon is a AK, an escalade, or fertilizer.

Friend of mine made a mistake and let his little girl(age 7) fall out of a rear door on the car while leaving the home driveway.  Door wasn't shut.  Wheel hit her hip.  She died at the age of 32 from continuing complications of that day.   We lie to ourselves when expect life to be easy-------------- sometimes life is very hard.   We just do our best.

 

Advisor
Posts: 363
Registered: ‎08-31-2012

Re: Say a prayer......

"Am I waisting opportunities to be the best husband, neighbor, father-------------- friend?  Am I so careful not to offend that I miss the opportunity to politely share when I see something that bothers me?"

 

SW - Excellant - This is where we need to take this discussion.  So many are caught up with taking the easy way out and blaming the weapons when they are the tool used to act out a behavior formed in a troubled mind.  Until we do the hard work of stitching our society together with values that celebrate life as a gift from God we will continue down this path.

 

The reasons for the actions taken by this lost soul may or may not become completely understood.  Too many times we find out later that the individual involved was taking some kind of drug to treat mental illness.  Let's pray we find a better way.

Advisor
Posts: 1,361
Registered: ‎06-25-2010
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Re: Say a prayer......

SW,

 

I understand that we cannot prevent everything and as a parent I guess we try.  That is the craziness.  Our kids fall and hurt themselves and we also hurt.  This thing I think  hurts a little bit more...

 

Isc,  you make very valid points and welcome to the forum

 

Whatadeal, comments well taken.

 

 

 

Senior Advisor
Posts: 9,317
Registered: ‎05-10-2010
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What a wonderful powerful post!

Such a thoughtful post deserves our admiration!