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Canuck_2
Veteran Advisor

Hell explained

Dang my email is good today.

Here is one from my brother-in-law.

It explains hell and how it works with heaven in a way that I am sure we could ALL believe in.

HELL EXPLAINED BY
CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Waterloo chemistry mid-term. 

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well : 


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
 

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. 

One student, however, wrote the following: 

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. 

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. < /P> 

This gives two possibilities: 

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. 

So which is it? 

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.' 


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

3 Replies
Milligan Hay - Iowa d:^)
Veteran Advisor

Re: My Explaination


@Canuck_2 wrote:

Dang my email is good today.

Here is one from my brother-in-law.

It explains hell and how it works with heaven in a way that I am sure we could ALL believe in.

HELL EXPLAINED BY
CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Waterloo chemistry mid-term. 

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well : 


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
 

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. 

One student, however, wrote the following: 

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. 

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. < /P> 

This gives two possibilities: 

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. 

So which is it? 

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.' 


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.


I hope that this student truly enjoys his "A+", because after his little announcement about his "horizontal refreshments" with a girl,.... that he named, for all to know about.... and his next steady sexual partner will be nicknamed "Rosy Palm", and for the foreseeable future as well.

4wd
Senior Contributor

Re: Hell explained

First, I'd like to say I would bet US dollars that Boyle's Law doesn't apply in Hell.

 

Second, his GF Teresa is behaving typical woman speak. BELIEVE HER NOT, especially in the bed!

Canuck_2
Veteran Advisor

Re: My Explaination

Now you made a different assumption than I did.

His rejection came in his 'freshman' year so obviously time has moved on and the two of them are 'pair' married maybe but at least cohabitating.

Smart guy like that will always talk himself into not out of a good partner.