cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
hardnox604008
Advisor

Hey Faust

I was laying in bed last night and got to thinking that I remain concerned for your safety. I'm thinking for sure that the agrofascist regime in Des Moines is going to label you an agriterrorist for criticizing GMOs and such and order a drone strike on you any day now. 

 

In order to not get intimately acqainted with a Hellfire missile I'd suggest immediate evasive actions such as only move around at night (but be aware they do have IR sensors), put a Faust decoy out in the back 40 and fortunately you'll have plenty of tree cover down there in a few weeks.

 

Also have to consider the possibility that they consider you a high value target and will send a SEAL team in to snatch you and rendition you to a Bulgarian prison.  There you'll get dunked more than a busload of pentacostals on Easter whereupon you will confess to being the father of Khloe Khardashian's child. Once you've given up what they want they'll take a DNA sample as "confirmation" and dump your body somewhee in the ocean so that the rest of us can't come and worship at your tomb.

 

I don't know, just thinkinn'. Be careful out there podnah.

 

PS. It would be pretty cool if for the helicopter assault teams they rigged them up with huge loudspeakers ala' Apocalypse Now but instead of Flight of the Valkyries they played the ISU fight song. It would terrorize the hell out of the locals.

 

PPS. Aslo was thinking that they could soften you up before the waterboarding by making you watch tapes of Hawkeye basketball games ca. 2005-11 24 hours a day. The horror!

1 Reply
hardnox604008
Advisor

Re: Hey Faust

If they don't currently have the legislative authority I'm sure they can get ALEC to provide the model legislation and Farm Bureau to push it through the legislature.