I got this from the "other" site.... It's just too funny. (where can I get one of these??)
The other day I needed to go to the emergency room. Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my MAGIC GREEN HAT! When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all. Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time. Here's the hat. Try it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service. 
It also works at DMV. It saved me 5 hours. At the Laundromat, three minutes after entering, I had my choice of any machine, most still running. Don't try it at McDonald's though. The whole crew got up and left and l never got my order.
