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Sometimes making the presumption

That your life is the normal one. That those who don't share your circumstances are rare "outliers", you encounter something like this: I don't know, BA, what the numbers were in 1980 but I was just 5 years into a marriage then that I can only describe as fantastic; and can't envision my life having played out differently. Thinking that these numbers may have more to do with the lack of universal consensus on any number of issues and matters than one would think at times at first look.
3 Replies
Red Steele
Veteran Advisor

Heres some help

Americans make economic decisions every day.


The economic decision when it comes to marriage is to co-habitate and get

the earned income's not rare for a couple making $60,000 or less

between the two to net over $10,000 by staying single. And that is a HUGE

percent of their net disposable income. That's the reality.


On the flip side, older couples don't re-marry anymore because of loosening

mores on co-habitation, estate tax considerations, and the most important one...

they would lose half of one social security check.


Really is not all that complicated and could be easily fixed .


Hope this helps. THe couples in the middle, where tax and SS policy is not an

issue seem to delay marriage, and we don't have "shotgun weddings" anymore

due to changes in community pressure and the "rights" of would be parents to

kill, excuse me, eliminate unplanned babies. But the middle type couples seem

to still get married, although once divorced, they seem to be reluctant to marry



But I explained all of this at least three times before and I am sure you will read

it, understand it for a few minutes, and then in a month wonder all over again

when you read a new report or Time magazine article. I bet Donald Trump  can

understand remember most issues, but thats another topic.


Not being overyly critical, just pointing out that some people are sharper than

others. That doesn't mean that there isn't a place in the world for them, just that

it's good to understand your limitations.


Dont feel bad....the writers at major publications live in their ivory towers and 

cant grasp what real America is like right now either. It would do them a real

service to have to live a few months in settings around people scrambling to 

make ends meet, dealing with police in a real setting, etc. 


Been there, done that, and I still remember. Keeps me motivated every day.

And gives me a great deal of appreciation for the men in blue, even if they

do make enough mistakes as they try to deal with contemporary America.


Would love to see the CLintons try to function without high level security

protection, or the Obamas,and then see their revised views on the police

in America. Trump, too, as far as that goes, but he does seem to get it.


It's not Mayberry RFD out there.

BA Deere
Honored Advisor

Re: Sometimes making the presumption

Divorce is too easy and it seems like the statistics of 50% divorce rate is about spot on.  For men there is very little upside to getting married because without a pre-nup the woman can run off with half the man`s stuff and get alimony, however it can work the other way too, if the woman is richer. 


A factory is a real test lab of what goes on, there`ll be women that announce they are going to get married have kids and get divorced take half his stuff get child support.  The marry a guy to help raise the kids and divorce him when the last one`s out the door and take half his stuff and then go travelling around the world.  And sure enough some women follow that formula very successfully.  Way cheaper for a man to just hire a hooker than get tangled in that web.


Then workers in the factories have "swap clubs" where they go home to a different woman over the noon hour for a quickee, different vaiety.  ..and to think I stand up for these American factory workers and their jobs  🙂


The institution of marriage has went to hell, some of us that married for love are making it work, it`s like the cliche of "you get out of it what you put into it" is so true.  But alot of people don`t tough out the rough patches, and head right for the door the minute it gets uncomfortable, just like society in general.

Senior Contributor

Re: Sometimes making the presumption

Are you sure divorce is too easy?

You would rather force people to continue to live together when they are not happy or safe together?


Maybe it is marriage that is to easy.