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Doctor Wants Me To...

Exercise More and Eat Better

Now that I'm over 70, the doctor wants me to come in for frequent checkups. I don't know why, though: he always says the same thing. "You need to eat better and exercise more! Walking and swimming are especially good for you." Worse, he wants me to cut out steak for fish and vegetables, and cut out beer for water.


That depressed me to no end. But I decided to think about it.

Well, I thought about it for hours, and here's what I came up with.

If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks lots of water -- and "a whale" is what hugely fat people are called (by the insensitive boors, that is -- not by me!)


A rabbit runs and hops and enjoys each day, and only eats vegetables (people call vegetables "rabbit food" for heaven's sake!) -- and a rabbit only lives for 15 years, tops.

But a tortoise doesn't run around. It does practically nothing. Yet it lives for 450 years.

And he tells me to exercise and change my diet? I don't think so! From now on, I'm not coming out of my shell.

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