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Parenthood -- If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor! -- Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results. -- The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side. -- Avenge yourself -- live long enough to be a problem to your children. -- The best way to keep kids at home is to give it a loving atmosphere ~~ and hide the keys to the car. -- Parents: People who bare infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds. -- The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed. -- Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. -- Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. -- Grandparents are similar to a piece of string ~ handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren. -- There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it. -- Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents. -- Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm. -- Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am. -- Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers. -- An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small children.
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