cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Highlighted
Contributor

Re: Are rural communities a toxic environment for keeping youth around?

I think BA deere has something.

 

"Most women don`t like rural life, they don`t like the isolation and dust, and boys go where the girls are and that`s the bright lights and big city. 

 

Unless someone has a vested interest in agriculture, it`s easy to see why they aren`t all that excited to see corn and beans as far as the eye can see and the whisp of hog manure in the air."

 

I don't think there's a lack of young farmers as there is a lack of young farmer's wives.  My mom never really wanted to be a farmer's wife, and our farm showed it.  I still don't understand my parents' marriage.  But, one fall I worked at the local co-op, and saw how the successful guys do it.  It's pretty simple really.  You have a wife who wants to garm with you, and then take all of the credit. Smiley Happy

 

Every late model tractor that pulled a set of wagons across the scale seemed to have the Mrs. at the wheel.  Her husband was back filling the other set of wagons, and you could see how they got the productivity out of the equiptment, another person involved in the decision making process to make sure things are thought out, and a team that is okay spending that extra money on breeding stock, or downpayment on another parcel of land, instead of a vacation or a new car.

 

I think about coming back.  But, I know farming completely alone doesn't work that well.  My dad isn't getting any younger, so, I pretty much won't farm unless I have a wife that wants to.

Highlighted
Honored Advisor

Re: Are rural communities a toxic environment for keeping youth around?

There is a whole new cadre' of young women who have idealized visions of rural life. The body of their literature includes magazines like "Mary Jane's Farm" and countless volumes about the peaceful life at the end of a country dirt lane. Farm boys are highly sought-after, at least in their fantasies.

Rural life isn't what it used to be, either good or bad. Many institutions - local schools, churches, etc. - are drying up, as population leaves the zone. Inventions like cell phones and the Internet, online shopping sites like amazon, all provide many opportunities to stay connected to the wider world, and staunch the sense of isolation.

In 1973, I married a farm boy who had taken a good public job, and who had no intention of farming. Within a year, we had built our first home back on his family's place, and we were farming a year later. I didn't intend to farm, and had finished college and gotten a teaching job by then, too. Ideas and attitudes change.

Making too-broad generalizations is how some guys give themselves a " bye" on working hard to find the right type of wife. They fall for some sparkly, sissy city girl, and then fault all women because she doesn't transplant well.
0 Kudos
Highlighted
Honored Advisor

Re: Are rural communities a toxic environment for keeping youth around?

Sometimes the fantacy of "back to nature" is tough to fullfill.  When the yard dress has a smudge and the wind blows the live out of the flowers..........  When that fantacy crumbles it can be fatal.

 

An actual move for love has a better chance.  We will do more for love than lifestyle.

0 Kudos
Highlighted
Honored Advisor

Re: Are rural communities a toxic environment for keeping youth around?

SWMN native,

 

Thank you 

 

great post and help us more often

0 Kudos
Highlighted
Senior Advisor

Re: Are rural communities a toxic environment for keeping youth around?

Good Observation!

0 Kudos
Highlighted
Frequent Contributor

Re: Are rural communities a toxic environment for keeping youth around?

Not a newly observed situation. Centuries ago the comment summed it up with "How can you keep them down on the farm after they have seen gay Parie (Paris)?" 

 

Good luck.

0 Kudos
Highlighted
Advisor

Re: Are rural communities a toxic environment for keeping youth around?

On several levels, I would agree with you.  I know it is hard to find a potential spouse that enjoys a rural lifestyle.  But it's not totally impossible.  I know of four men in my community, now in their late 40's and 50's that found their mate after taking the extra effort.  One married a professor of music, another a school teacher and another a stay at home wife that helped manage a lawn care business.  I am not sure about the fourth one, but they are happily married, from what I hear. You have to be willing to open your mindset and look outside the box.  Even some city raised women would jump at the chance to live in the country.  Admittedly, it does take extra effort to find them.  What's wrong with looking for something that is as precious as someone you want to spend your whole life with?

 

City amenities are nice.  Proximity to cultural events or other venues can be enticing, if you are willing to make that effort to woo that special person.  We farmers are no longer married to the plow, or the cow, unlike our ancestors.  We can, if we choose, spend the time to e n j o y city life when it is appropriate and depending on the season.

 

Rural attractions are nice, too.  Spend an evening with the love of your life, watching the sun go down in the Flint Hills of Kansas.  E n j o y a morning sunrise, even from the comfort of your home, on a cold winter day.  Watch the Aurora Borielas dance across the cold winter, cloudless skies.  Appreciate the stillness of the night, and later, watch the blinding snow storm fill the nooks and crannies of your landscape, and in the morning, gaze at mother nature's adornment of the finest crystalline structures known to man, as the sunlight makes them sparkle like gems.

 

Or, you can drive the 50 minutes to an hour and half to a metropolitan city and take in a show at the dinner theatre, or whatever suits your fancy.

 

Anything worth having costs something more than minimal effort, don't you think?

 

 

Highlighted
Honored Advisor

Re: Are rural communities a toxic environment for keeping youth around?

Hallelujah! You got it right! There are scads of women who would love to step out of the rat race and into a peaceful farmhouse lifestyle. They just aren't out trolling the backwoods for a catch.
0 Kudos