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kraft-t
Senior Advisor

Re: Family Farms - Feminize Or Die

Kay, you just posted a positive argument not to do it at all.

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Kay/NC
Honored Advisor

Re: Family Farms - Feminize Or Die

Jim, one thing I do not know if you are aware of, is a sort of " farm woman fantasy" that has been growing for the last several years. There are magazines dedicated to the notion of an elemental lifestyle much like my grandmother lived. My mother's generation tried to escape the farm to a greater extent.

There was the time when virtually everyone not living in a city farmed...it was a universally shared experience, with few exceptions in rural areas. If you do a little browsing on amazon, you will find an entire genre' of books devoted to an idealized farm life. Nothing like a modern, mechanized agribusiness model...I have read a few represented as memoirs, mostly for laughs.
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Kay/NC
Honored Advisor

Re: Family Farms - Feminize Or Die

Anything worth doing is worth doing well. Farming and gardening have less in common than most people think.
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smokeyjay
Advisor

Re: Family Farms - Feminize Or Die

Which brings us to the age old question; do you marry for love or money?  The argument, in retrospect, takes on great significance. 

 

We all succumb to the heirarchy of needs, but then again, we are supposed to be human, with a higher intelligence that looks at all the issues and makes intelligent choices.

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smokeyjay
Advisor

Re: Family Farms - Feminize Or Die

At first, mine did not want anything to do with it.  Now, with all the craziness going on in higher education these days, she is really taking a second look.  We do have a good arrangement.  She assists with moving machinery, with harvest meals, chasing parts, etc..  I do the rest.

 

One thing is certain, the farm land has been the best investment we could have made, even with the ups and downs of the last 30 years.

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Kay/NC
Honored Advisor

Re: Family Farms - Feminize Or Die

And, the age-old answer to that question is this:If you marry for money, you earn every cent....

It is my considered opinion that if you are willing to work, and have a bit of common sense, money sufficient for your needs and many wants is not all that difficult to come by. Learning to love someone you don't would be very hard by comparison, I feel. I fell in love so young, I was too dumb to consider other attributes of my chosen one. Fortunately for me, he is a good provider, too.
SpringBrookFarm
Veteran Contributor

Re: Family Farms - Feminize Or Die

Jim, 

 

According to your posts and many of the responses i would have to say our family is very "old school." I met my wife three years ago while we were both in college. We were both in community college, we both graduated, she recieved her degree for Physical Therepy assistant and i transfered to a four year college to get my agronomy degree. During this time she worked full time. We got married early last spring and now have a daughter. All my wife wanted was to ditch her job and stay home with our daughter. She gardens and hopefully someday when we can afford to move out to our farm from town she wants more garden, goats, chickens, she wants to can and make everything from scratch. She is a generation removed from the farm as her grandparents farmed but her parents had nothing to do with it and she grew up in town. When we were dating she commented on how she would rather stay a week out at the farm with her grandparents then stay stuck in town during the summer. Also i think her older brother and his wife had alot of influence on how she feels, they live in colorado with 5 acres, her brother works and his wife stays home and takes care of the kids, but they raise their own hogs, chickens, garden and grow most of their own food. My wife claims there is just something peaceful with it all. She loved her job but at the same time what she does now is so much less stressful.

As for the farm i make all the decisions, like others we discuss everything but utimatly i make the decision, she just feels that again she doesn't need the added stress of it, she trusts me to take care of things. 

I think some women have the desire and drive to run their own companies and make their own wages, and some find peace with raiseing kids and gardens. I respect both, we have alot of friends that are either.

If you have children i think it has more to do with if you want to raise your children completly, or have someone else raise them and just tuck them into bed at night.,

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buckfarmer
Senior Contributor

Re: Family Farms - Feminize Or Die

I was thinking the old school we all think of may not be exactly what we think. Fifty years or so ago how many single men or brothers farmed. It's kind of a survival of the fittest though. They didn't have kids so those farms probably didn't get handed down to family. They were also forgotten sooner since they didnt have direct heirs to remember their farm stories. There were a few around here but I was under the impression that there were more in the bigger farm areas. Anyone have or know where we could find these types of statistics. The first farm my parents bought, in the seventies, was from a 90 year old single man. His brother lived on the next farm north of them and the other two brothers ran a sawmill. None of them ever married. I can only think of three single farmer i know. That's not just in our area I've had the opportunity to meet farmers from a pretty large geographical area.
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Kay/NC
Honored Advisor

Re: Family Farms - Feminize Or Die

Excellent points. Mike's family included a bachelor uncle and two spinster aunts. Several more of the 13 in his father's family married, but had no offspring. In a couple of cases, thst was a good thing. Oddly, out of the six sons, Mike is the only son, born when his patents were 40. Our son won't have one, unless he ends up with a different woman than the one he's got now.

We remember things about the ones that lived on the farm, but even our kids barely do. If you take a Buddhist point of view, you accept that nothing is permanent, we all pass, and that is life. Trying to make anything last forever is futile.

I am trying to learn to live in the present, instead of being preoccupied with past and future. Harder than you might think...

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Kay/NC
Honored Advisor

Another aspect

Whether or not farms are being (or will necessariuly become) "feminized", or women de-feminized, is another whole discussion. Any takers?

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