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Advisor

Re: How do do you want to die?

This whole healthcare/death panel debate last year made me want to cry.  We live in a society that will spend virtually unlimited sums of money on the last six months of a person's life, but scrimps pennies at the beginning of it. 

What needs to arise is an incentive to make people healthy in infancy and childhood, which will drive a lot better health for a lifetime.  I'd rather see us fund a stiped for parents to stay at home with their babies for at least their first year, with healthcare support in the home, than to pay for an ICU bed for someone in a vegetative state.  You could pay a good month's living expenses and trained support services for the former, for less than a day's worth of attention for the latter. 

Back to the original question:  I have figured out in thinking this over that if you live each day right, it really doesn't matter if it's fast or slow.  Also, we forget that there are a lot of gray spaces in between...where you can be "here" enough to create a care issue, but not "here" enough to help figure out how that is to be done of funded. 

I make a concerted effort every day to leave business issues so that they will not be hard for my family to figure out and follow.  All the routine bills come to a credit card that would be able to apy for them for years without hitting a credit limit wall.  I have opted to keep receiving a written statement, so Mike and the kids won't miss an electronic one.  The health insurance and farm coverage all draft from a smilar, practically unlimited setup.  Life insurance, ditto.   

The business accounts all function in one institution with electronic links.   I have left what I call a trail of breadcrumbs that the family can follow, in writing, in my office, in a bright orange binder labelled "What you need to know."   I have shown them where that binder stays. 

I bought a book to write down some family history in while Christmas shopping.   All the photos from old computers have been stored on flash drives...I'll be moving them into the current computer system this week. 

I am sure I will forget something, but nobody's perfect, and I hope they will appreciate when I have tried to do.  Thanks for reminding us all of our mortality, Jim!  It lit a fresh fire under me....

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Senior Contributor

Re: How do do you want to die?

Good one, Kraft-T!  You'll know it as you see someone walking towards you with that mysterious look, the one that makes your entire life flashing before your eyes....

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Honored Advisor

Re: How do do you want to die?

Wonder how many of those poor folks in Arizona yesterday saw it coming, or saw something in that kid's eyes...and how many would like to come back and take whatever fate they could get, in place of that one. 

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Senior Contributor

Re: How do do you want to die?

Good question.  Speaking of dying, here's a link to a video I found on the internet about a 47 year old professor who was diagnosed with a fatal condition.   http://www.wimp.com/lastlecture/

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Honored Advisor

Re: How do do you want to die?

Thanks, Smokeyjay, but I've had to watch that one ad nauseum in college this past year.  It is excellent, but too much of a good thing, you know. 

I sense that it was a pleasure to study under this exceptional man...and not just for the subject matter.  He did a lot with very little time. 

I'd suggest you watch some of Randy Pausch's other video lectures.  One we were assigned this summer was particularly good. and it's on youtube, too. 

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Senior Contributor

Re: How do do you want to die?

Thanks, Kay.

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Frequent Contributor

Re: How do do you want to die?

Quick or slow? I'll go with slow or at least later. Summer of 09, 800 miles from home, I hit a deer with my motorcycle. No time to react, life didn't flash before my eyes, just Boom. Could've been the end like it is for so many. Ambulance hauls meto trauma center where I'm told I have 5 broken ribs, broken shoulder blade, road rash everywhere and bleeding on the brain... er O wait , its not blood, it's a tumor. I went from feeling great to feeling lucky to feeling numb. 4 mos. later, an excellent surgeon removed the tumor, it was benign and I'm feeling lucky and great again. I'm 54. From what I've learned, quick is not for me. I'll try slow.

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Veteran Advisor

Re: How do do you want to die?

where you can be "here" enough to create a care issue, but not "here" enough to help figure out how that is to be done of funded

Know what you mean.

My mother was that way for a number of years.

In long term care with a healthy body, for a person in mid 80ies, but did not know who we were when we visited.

That is why I can understand what my neighbour means when he thinks they will just get their box of timbits and sit in the car. If only we were rational enough long enough.

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Veteran Advisor

Re: How do do you want to die?

JIm I have been busy and haven't checked over here all weekend. THis is a rather morbid topic don't you think? At the same time a discussion I don't mind having.  I think that this is a topic that also will shed a lot of light of on ones faith system and their confidence in it.

 

I had a good friend die at 26 in a skid loader accident,  A girl friend of mine from High school lost a brother of twelve in an auger accident.  My great Grandpa had cancer and his oldest son kept him alive till his 90th birthday with machines just so they could say he turned 90. My grandpa dropped dead of a heart attack at 70 in April of 2002 having made his to do list for the day. while walking to the counter for more coffe. Death comes at anytime weahter prepared or not.

 

I would not take my life. I believe that every day is agift and at any time I might recieve an even better gift than yesterday was.  I enjoy life. I look forward to the unexpected. 

 

My wife and I are ready we have a will and have talked about who we want to have our childern and what we would want them to do with our life insurance money if we were to go at the same time. We have also talked about if either one of us were to go what we would like to see the other do.  If She were to pass I would be lost but I would keep farming.  If I were to pass I have asked her to keep the farm going wioth my dads help till the Boys get old enough to decide to farm or not. 

 

We have picked out a rough sketch of what our funerals should look like and while we have not bought a funeral plan we have gone thru the basics of our service.  I said I wanted to be buried near in the town protestant cemetery. I do not want to have my funeral at a church. (CHurch and I don't get along real well)  And I want lots of singing.  I have only picked out one song for the service but I think it is vey appropriate.


 

She wants to be buried with a church service I said I would do that. She also wants a lot of music.

 

Having seen folks go both way I think I will live my life Like the Garth Brooks song if tomorrow never comes.  I think of death as part of life

 

My greatest eulogy would be to be able to say as the Apostle paul said in 2Timothy 4:6-8

For I am ready to be offered and the time of my departure is at hand.

I have fought a good fight,

I have finished my course,

I have kept the faith.

Hence forth there is laid up for me a crown of rightousness, Which the Lord the rightous judge shall give to me at that day, and not to me only, but unto all them that love his appearing.

My goal is to finish well. 


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Frequent Contributor

Re: How do do you want to die?

Excellent question.  Would not have said that in my younger years but life's experiences have a way of changing our perspective on things.  

 

Would prefer a quick death for two reasons.  First,  is to spare the family and myself  from the agony and expense of a prolonged illness.  In addition, I would not really care that much about living in pain that typically goes with a life ending illness.  Second, is that I have seen close family members go through years of deteriorating health that left them with a poor quality of life.  I will never forget seeing how my grandfather and father went from hard working farmers to feeling they were a burden on the family.  Even though they were not, and were not treated as such,  to see someone get to the point where they are not even able to care for themselves is something no one should have to endure.  Also had a grandmother who broke a hip and  laid in a nursing home for 8 years with dementia not knowing who anyone was. 

 

A quick death for an individual is hard on the family but I don't want my family to have to take care of me and spend money prolonging the life of someone who has been reduced to an invalid. 

 

I want to be cremated and have my ashes spread on the land I have worked on, and loved, during my lifetime.  

 

Kay/NC, sorry to hear about your loss.  We have 9 cats and 7 dogs and love them all dearly.  I love my wife and son but my other "kids" bring a great deal of joy to my life each day.  They are all strays or came from the pound.  I can't stand to go to the pound or I would have more.  The ASPCA commercials bring tears to my eyes each time I see one.  We make a monetary contribution to the local pound and other humane organizations each year.  They also will be remembered in our will.     

 

In closing,        

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