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Nebrfarmr
Veteran Advisor

Re: STAY ALERT OR STAY OFF THE ROAD

Nope, 50 is a ways off yet.  Heck, my oldest kid is only 5.

 

I do like the decoration style where things are less 'fluffy'  In fact, 'heavy duty industrial' is fine with me, but for some reason, the wife wouldn't let me go with a stainless steel shower stall.  I can't see why not, in 30 years, except for a few scratches here & there from the kids dropping stuff on it.  My wife insists on curtains with little flowers on it.

 

But I guess that is what marriage is all about, compromise.

My wife likes flowered  curtains, I like plain, so we compromised and got flowered in the house, and she says I can hang whatever curtains I want in the barn.

 

You make my point on men being simple, though.

Give a man food, beverage, and some sort of entertainment, and he's happy.

A woman always seems to be thinking, things would be great if I did/had this one more thing.


Quick example, last year we went on a quick vacation, left the kids with grandma for 2 days.  We visited some friends in Colorado, puttered around & took in the sights a day, and headed home.  About midway into the first day (of a two and a half day vacation) when I am just relaxing, and enjoying the scenery, the wife says 'on our NEXT vacation, I want to see bla and bla, and stop over at yadda and yadda and etc, etc.  For some reason, she just wasn't happy to relax.

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Kay/NC
Honored Advisor

Re: STAY ALERT OR STAY OFF THE ROAD

Yep, I know what you mean about the living in the moment v looking to the future difference.  There is all sorts of research out there on gender disparities in the way we think, but it pretty much boils down to that, most of the time.  May explain why a lot of guys are shopping for their most important gifts on Christmas Eve....

 

If there is one good thing about gender differences, it is that it does indeed take all types to make the world go around, and it is often true that opposites attract.  You didn't REALLY want to be married to someone exactly like you, now did you?

 

The only time the differences are a problem is if either or both of you want them to be.  As it works here, at least on the good days, we figure the aspects we are each strong in complement the weaknesses of the other of us.  If a problem needs to be addressed in the future teense, Mike hands it to me.  If immediately, I call upon him.  We help each other, but each one has a decidedly different focus point in time. 

 

One aspect of the time equation, though, is that women are highly targeted by advertisers in terms of "creating demand."  One of the topics I have been reading a lot on this year is the whole subject of homemaking, and how that has evolved over time.  Men pretty much got to the cave level and were satisfied...women wanted more, or let's say better, accommodations.  Madison Avenue and its predecessors have taken great stock in that fact. 

 

I will say that there is a happy medium, which a couple can strike easily at about fifty, if they are  just patient enough to stick around together that long.  We did a little advance work for that kitchen job this afternoon.  I've been staging the project for weeks now, since Mike and our son agreed to destroy the house between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

 

The phrase was, "No one is crazy enough to remodel at that time of year, Mama, so it will be a good time for me to get your job done!"  I have learned to trust that it will, and not freak out at the notion...but, I would have lost my cool if presented with this possibility at the age of 35.    Maybe it's knowing we have a wine collection built and accessible that helps me remain so mellow. 

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Nebrfarmr
Veteran Advisor

Re: STAY ALERT OR STAY OFF THE ROAD


@Kay/NC wrote:

Yep, I know what you mean about the living in the moment v looking to the future difference.  There is all sorts of research out there on gender disparities in the way we think, but it pretty much boils down to that, most of the time.  May explain why a lot of guys are shopping for their most important gifts on Christmas Eve....

 

I do that because my wife has a 6th sense about where I hide her gift.  Gives her less time to find it.  Besides, I get better bargains that way.

 

If there is one good thing about gender differences, it is that it does indeed take all types to make the world go around, and it is often true that opposites attract.  You didn't REALLY want to be married to someone exactly like you, now did you?

 

Oh my God, no.  My wife agrees, one of me is about all the world can handle.

 

The only time the differences are a problem is if either or both of you want them to be.  As it works here, at least on the good days, we figure the aspects we are each strong in complement the weaknesses of the other of us.  If a problem needs to be addressed in the future teense, Mike hands it to me.  If immediately, I call upon him.  We help each other, but each one has a decidedly different focus point in time. 

 

I notice between me and my wife, I am a 'fixer' and she is a 'planner'.  Works out well when we have the same ultimate goal.

 

One aspect of the time equation, though, is that women are highly targeted by advertisers in terms of "creating demand."  One of the topics I have been reading a lot on this year is the whole subject of homemaking, and how that has evolved over time.  Men pretty much got to the cave level and were satisfied...women wanted more, or let's say better, accommodations.  Madison Avenue and its predecessors have taken great stock in that fact. 

 

What's wrong with a cave....as long as it has cable and a frig?

 

I will say that there is a happy medium, which a couple can strike easily at about fifty, if they are  just patient enough to stick around together that long.  We did a little advance work for that kitchen job this afternoon.  I've been staging the project for weeks now, since Mike and our son agreed to destroy the house between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

 

Got roughly 15 years before we're both 50, but I think we get along good now.  Besides, the differences are a good source of discussion, and entertainment when we're bored.

 

The phrase was, "No one is crazy enough to remodel at that time of year, Mama, so it will be a good time for me to get your job done!"  I have learned to trust that it will, and not freak out at the notion...but, I would have lost my cool if presented with this possibility at the age of 35.    Maybe it's knowing we have a wine collection built and accessible that helps me remain so mellow. 

 

ANOTHER difference between men & women.  If you are remodeling, and someone comes to visit, the man will shrug and say 'We're remodeling'.  The woman will often freak out because someone might see the wiring in a wall in the back bedroom.  (I know this because I have experience in carpentry & remodeling, and have helped a few fellows out in emergency situations.  My best story centers around a job that we were going to get done, no matter what, unless God smites us down.  Later that day, a thunderstorm rolled through, a bolt of lightning hit, and burned out the router we needed to finish the job, just minutes after the hardware stores closed.  That woman was more nervous than a 3 pound hen on a 5 pound egg.  The husband looked at the cabinets, who's doors we couldn't finish, and said "can't we just hang a curtain over the missing doors?"  The wife freaked, and I used my vast knowledge gained in college, and figured out the lightning fried the switch on the router.  I by-passed it, and we finished the job, with me plugging and un-plugging the extension cord (as the on-off switch) and him running the router.  He later said any pain a runaway router would have caused was nothing compared to what his wife would have put him through if we didn't get done that night.


 

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