cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Highlighted
Honored Advisor

PONDERISMS

(some things to think about)
1- I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
 
2- There are two kinds of pedestrians . . . The quick and the dead.
 
3- Life is sexually transmitted.
 
4- Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
 
5- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
 
6- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
 
7- Have you noticed since everyone has a cell phone these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
 
8- Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
 
9- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
 
10- In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
 
11- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
 
12- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out'? Hmmmmm, How about eggs ? . . .
 
13- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
 
14- Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
 
16- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
 
17- Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
 
18- Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
 
19- Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
 
20- Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?
0 Kudos