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dairy mom
Senior Contributor

Re: Christmas menu big time vent here

This is driving me crazy.  Dec 23rd and I don't know exactly who will be here when or how long they are staying, what meals they will want and what the food will be

Will definitely not be done this way next year

Hoping they have it handled and I'm just in the dark and not gonna be hit with big snafus when the light does shine.

 

Will finish getting prepared today so I can handle whatever whenever with me being the one in the know.

 

This #*#*#* transition thing is going to put me in the looney house before it is all done.

 

I appreciate that my son and dil feel they need to take control of the farm but this little leak into the personal is really getting to me, especially since their ultimate goal is to be away from here as much as possible for the holidays.

 

Doesn't help either that 20 millions things on the farm and the contruction are coming to a head this week so husband and son are GROUCHY  plus hubby has decided this morning he is getting sick.

 

 

More cows bought this week, having some disconcerting problems with calving animals, big cement pour despite the weather yesterday, major money dispute with one of the contractors which is causing headaches with the title insurance idiot woman.  And it all gets vented into my lap when I have no control and no real input.  Fraid there are a couple of people I would read the riot act to and threaten with court.

 

Oh and had an employee just decide to quit showing up.  Came to the Xmas dinner they put on for everyone and then never showed again.  Discovered he'd lied on his application and a bunch of stuff.   They advanced him his paycheck (actually just paid him for 1 week worked instead of waiting for the pay day the next week) plus hubby gave him a little bit of cash for gas and then he just didn't show, didn't answer phone or anything.

 

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Midwest Farm
Veteran Contributor

Re: Christmas menu big time vent here

DM, I wish you lived near me...I would have you over for a big glass of wine. 

 

I know it's old advice, but you know you can only control YOUR self, not kids, husband, farm situations, other people's expectations, etc. etc. etc. (as the King said in The King and I  8-)). And only YOU are responsible for your happiness. Again, old advice, but breathe, go for a brisk walk around the section with the dog and find some thought about how much worse it could be (not being negative here, but we all know it can always get worse!)

 

I have one of those little Christmas books tucked away to read Christmas Day night...it's the little things that I look forward to in any potential stressful situation. As dumb as it sounds, brushing my big dog is a stress reliever too - and it's done outside away from everyone.

 

Maybe make a large quantity of food that freezes well, that way if not enough mouths show up to consume, it's no problem. As for stupid employees that lie and quit and leave everyone with extra work, that part is out of anyone's control too.....think of those extra calories burned doing their work so you can enjoy a Bailey's later 8-) Just kidding...I know that sux.

 

Merry Christmas to you. I'll be thinking of you.

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Suey73
Advisor

Re: Christmas menu big time vent here

I'm feeling your pain.    I have put my foot down and announced that Christmas dinner will be at 2 PM.    I expect everyone to do their part for the meal.    The  SIL that is always late will be the fly in the brew.       Everyone's got lots of schedules.   As of right now  I think all will be here  Christmas Day  from about 1PM to 6 PM.  

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Kay/NC
Honored Advisor

Re: Christmas menu big time vent here

They wanted control, let them have it!

I always say the only thing harder than running a business is running one with your family. You throw on top of that farming, which is a type of business unto itself, then dairying, which is such a constant workload, it scares the beejeebers out of me (and we have 14,000 pigs on the back forty every day).

Add in a transition WITH a major expansion...oh, what could go wrong with all of those factors at once?!?

I feel for you in every point, including the employee that went MIA with extra jingle in his pocket. Considering that no one downplays t,heir good qualities on an application, it is likely good riddance, and little lost to what he woukd have eventually cost you. He is probably high in a ditch somewhere...most bad apples seem to trace back to substance abuse these days.

On the contractor thing, legally, the written agreement you have is it. Change orders have to be written, too. If he is a legitimate contractor, he knows that.

Hope the concrete set, the cows do better, and everyone finds somewhere else to vent, besides at you. It is rough being th sounding board, with no real authority to change things. Pressure plus powerlessness...bad combination. Try to set it aside, spend time with the grands, sit back and let the next generation run this show.
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linda/IL
Senior Contributor

Re: Christmas menu big time vent here

In my house, I still say the holidays are overload for the woman.  My dad used to do ALL the wrapping, helped with meals, cleaning.  HUH!  DH always has priority farm work and Brian is drug along and he will help some.  Not a good wrapper though.

 

Have the grands today so mom can shop.  Had to help decorate church so I took along.  The middle one (boy) I could have strangled and the littlest one followed in his footsteps.  God forbid, I was thinking all the time I was trying to handle both babysitting & decorating, "where is so & so?"  "Why isn't whats her name not helping?"  So how good of an angel am I when thinking that. 

 

And mom calls while I am there because a light bulb is burnt out, she can't drive so she hasn't got her cards mailed, and etc. etc.  I know she is lonely & frusterated about driving.  And I haven't been there for her this week with DH & Brians doctoring, and my two days down with the flu.  And I have soooooo much to do before Christmas.  I sould have put my foot down and had it Sat.  Still have this lingering headache from the flu.

 

DM, I would be nuts.  Really.  I know somewhat what expansion is like when we put in the parlor and I can't imagine the stress of a large expansion with cows coming in and turning over to DS on top of it all.  Your whole post is over the top.  I have to say I would have put my foot down on knowing who was coming & when.  Or I probably would have said go to McDonalds-we are eating at (?) p.m. and that's it.  Your issue with hired help is one reason we retired from dairying rather than hire help.  I use retired loosely.  DH & Brian are on their way to WI to pick up bucket calves as I speak.  No rest for the wicked-I'm living proof.  Better call mom to see if she is settled.  (I did do a fast run in & do her

bidding)  She was pi**ed that I was working at church & babysitting instead of spending time for her.  She has a point I guess.  Oh, Merry Christmas. 

 

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Kay/NC
Honored Advisor

Re: Christmas menu big time vent here

Not another light bulb! Your Mom blows more bulbs than anyone I know...have I got some book titles for you, when you are ready to load them on Kindle!

Just faced the facts with my mother a few days ago, put a name to our issues. When I got the wording straight in my mind, after 60.5 years, I found three good books to help me understand the problem and its full ramifications. A lot of emotional work ahead...and on my own, because she wil never admit her part in the problem. That is, in a nutshell, the real problem.

I know what you mean about being caught in everyone's crosshairs, when they are targetting someone to do a job for them. Used to overcommit, was afraid to say " No!" The older I get, the less time I give away as freely...now, only for very select people and causes.

Hope you get the headache under control, and all your bases covered. Maybe nextvyear, remind everyone that Christmas is ALWAYS on December 25th, so they can get cards out, shopping done, etc., without jamming you up last-minute like this!

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turkey feather
Senior Contributor

Re: Christmas menu big time vent here

I am joining in with the group. You have made me feel better.   Never have I been so behind for Christmas dinner. Yesterday we went to town for gift card and a couple of gifts. Today we had to meet with the accountant to make some changes etc. before he closed the office for a few days and then to a second town for another gift card and a few toys that I needed. Tomorrow that is the rest of the cleaning plus starting the food and table settings. I still am not sure about dessert. I have strawberries in the freezer and thought strawberry pie sounds good but I cannot find the receipe for frozen berries with jello. I may wing it. I have not wrapped on gift yet. DH says he will help me but when I suggested he run the vaccum he did not remember where to turn it on. He is a much neater wrapper than I am so maybe he will help with that. I will have to deal with my lack of stamina too.

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Kay/NC
Honored Advisor

Re: Christmas menu big time vent here

Google for the recipe...amazing how fast it can turn up, when you enter key words like " strawberries, Jello, pie, recipe". I am using online recipes more and more now. Helps use up that odd ingredient that used to go bad, waiting for me to fund a print recipe.

I still need to put checks in cards, but everything is wrapped. I will have Friday night and Saturday morning to prep and cook.

Found a pretty acacia wood cheese plank at Target today, while looking for a cheese serving set like ours, which our son commented he really liked while at Jenna's house with us the other night for a bite.

That set wasn't in the store anymore, but I stood and prdered it online, with overnight shipping...more to see if they can get it here tomorrow or not...it is kind of a stocking stuffer. The shipping upgrade was only $3 more than standard shipping, so let's see!

The kids asked for cash instead of gift cards this year. Daughter ans SIL have a cruise coming up in February. Son is a starving artist, so $$$ are etter, too. Each of them have one package to unwrap. That makes it TONS easier on me!

Mike helped wrap Winn's big box of make believe costumes today. I had managed son's tall LP fuel tank on my own last trip, but this bix required at least four hands to hold paper while taping. I can't wait to see him trying on these cute role-playing get-ups. That box will either be a hot or a bomb!

We seem to finally be getting our colds to let go a bit, after three weeks. Winn seems to be shaking it at long last, too.

Am sitting here watching Dr. phil recording about these women who have sent all their money to these scammers called " catfish". So sad, so impossible to believe these intelligent women are this desperate for male companionship. Kind of makes our guys look like the treasures they are!
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turkey feather
Senior Contributor

Re: Christmas menu big time vent here

I read this and went into the living room where DH was watching so I joined him for 15 min. I just cannot understand how a woman could be so stupid to fall for all of those lies from a man and give him thousands without meeting him.

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Kay/NC
Honored Advisor

Re: Christmas menu big time vent here

That show was a re-run. The little lady from North Carolina broke my heart.

As imperfect as the average husband we have may be, we are winners in the relationship lottery, compared to these women.
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