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Honored Advisor

Cows and telephone calls????

To say that I married a shy man is a gross understatement. The last 2-3 months have really pointed this fact out clearly. I really think part of it is a hearing issue, but it is what it is....

Mike always wants me to initiate calls to people about things we need to buy or learn to do. He will deal with them after that...he is just uncomfortable with placing a cold call. Case in point: yesterday afternoon, he said " someone" needed to call a certain farm we had been referred to by four or five different people along this cow path we're traveling now, to inquire about a herd sire.

Got ahold of a very nice gentleman. I hope we can afford some of his genetics. We are not much for auctions, so are assembling this herd by private treaty sales. He's sending me stats on about a dozen young bulls today. We have until about Thanksgiving to nail this one down.

Got the health department coming this way today, to run water analysis on an old well on the country store property, to see if it's fit for the cows to drink from on that side of the county road. That should've been done a month ago. If it's not, the next set of calls will be to well drilling companies.

Ordered the water fountains from Pennsylvania yesterday. Very nice family operation makes these, and we have used them trouble-free for 12 years now. Fun trying to place a telephone order with Winn wreaking havoc in the background....

Got online to find eartags, and am being sent to the Agri-Supply store in Petersburg today, for water piping and fence hardware. Mike has the fencing coming along pretty well on the back pasture we are extending. After that, he starts across the road on a completely new one.

Had to get the NRCS to amend our waste plan for the different grass, and deduct some N credits, fir grazing instead of haying. It is THAT specific here in Carolina.

Called the vet's office that we intend to use for the cattle...he already comes here for daughter's horses. Should be okay, but need his directives now to get ready for calves, as we should start seeing some in 3-4 weeks.

In all, I got four or five items off the " to call for cows" list yesterday. Oh, forgot about the guy I am trying to convince to hay my larger farm in Va for us, too. He's been doing the smaller one for six years, right across the road, but this is five times as much land, so I hope he will bite. Would love to just write the check for custom work, and load up nice bales to move to the fenced farms.

Do any of you also have to make the first phone call? Once I do, give them Mike's cell number, then tell him the gist of the initial conversation - to expect a call - he's fine.

Oh, you who have cows...can you explain your eartag numbering system? We are kind of at odds on that question...i am seeing various letters and numbers on the cows we have bought.

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Senior Contributor

Re: Cows and telephone calls????

Yes, I have been that route with first phone calls. DH avoids those calls too but will talk on the phone with a friend for an hour late in the evening. He likes person to person but I prefer phone and now email or text. So much quicker.

 

You have a lot of new things to deal with but you seem like a pro at this.

 

I purchased a book many years ago somthing to do with 'late bloomers'. I seem to be one. One of the worst experiences in my life was college speech class. Last night I had to talk to 150 Farm Bureau people with a report of the past year as I have the past three years. I was complimented again. Blows my mind.

 

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Senior Contributor

Re: Cows and telephone calls????

There is no rhyme or reason to the phone calls my husband defers to me.  Just seems like there are some he doesn't want to make; those he delegates to me.  Rarely an initial contact call though.  But sometimes I kind of have to push him to get the inital call made.  Like right now he is putting off the inital contact with the power company to get the reparation for the damage/expenses caused when the line to the farm shorted out.

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Senior Contributor

Re: Cows and telephone calls????

The same here too.  Especially if it's anything that involves going through pushing buttons or being on hold.  No patience from  him.

 

I finally got him to refill medication (once) and wouldn't you know he got right through.  No punching this or that button, and no  holding time.  LOL  He couldn't understand why I often got frusterated with the outfit.

 

DS#1 often covers for him & orders stuff off the internet & gets his hunting license, etc. through that too so he doesn't deal with that either.  Pretty pampered.

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Senior Contributor

Re: Cows and telephone calls????

If I didn't make the phone calls they wouldn't get done.  Todd has been complaining about the top of his foot forever and I think (can't remember for sure) that when he sprained his ankle badly last summer xrays showed the beginnings of a bone spur.  Do you think he could call the doc?  Nope, I finally did it today and told him he WOULD make the appt. or I was chopping his foot off but he can't get in until the 18th of Sept. so he's going to have to suck it up for that long at least.  For most things I do most of the phone calling because I know it'll at least get done in the first place. 

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Honored Advisor

Re: Cows and telephone calls????

It is something that worries me, more than aggravating me. I know that Jenna!s passing has made me more conscious that one of us will have to survive without the other one someday. . I have made a point of having him do a lot more of the banking, errands, etc., in spells when he isn't as busy as he is right now.

Yesterday, I had to travel to VA, to take care of the cat, carry kitchen stuff and bath towels to the house next door. He gave me a list of fencing parts and a honking big roll of water piping to pick up while there. I wasn't out shopping fir shies and such, for sure!


My absence meant he had to meet with the health department to pull a well water sample for the cows, and the phone guy, to see if he had cut the line ( fortunately, he had not). There was also an issue with one of the two trucks that came to load out pigs to PA yesterday. Last night, when I asked him how much he had gotten done on the fence, he had to complain almost as long as those three distractions took, about hoe little he got done because of them.

I wanted to say, "Welcome to my world!" I feel I have spent whole decades of my life doing scads of things I didn't want to do. Remember being stuck by the phone, waiting with three kids under five for a phone call for him to go for a shift on the railroad? How about the " a.m." repair appointments, where the guy finally showed about four in the afternoon?

I said I worry about this, mostly because his lack of patience might cause him to fail to do something crucial, if no one is policing him. I guess it is what it is....

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Senior Contributor

Re: Cows and telephone calls????

You &I have the same concerns Kay.  Yes, l cannot do his farm work.  I would have to hire someone until I got everything sold.  Yes, I don't think I want to stay here alone.  To hire upkeep would suck me dry in this old place.  As I look at mom's situation I would run to a manageable home or apartment.  Maybe that's clouding my judgement right now.

 

But he has no cooking, cleaning or computer skills.  He jokes that he would have to interview during the line of my mourners.  I know he can learn & I could too but my list is limited.  I always go back to my milking friend who lost her 53 year old husband.  She called for help feeding the night he passed.  Certainly gives a widow something to focus on during the grieving period.

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Senior Contributor

Re: Cows and telephone calls????

I understand your concerns and share them.  But people can usually step up and do what they need to do. DH was great when I was hospitalized twice in two years for several days each time. I do still wonder what he ate all those days as he will not cook and hates to spend money on food. He is still overprotective sometimes which is very unlike his previous self.

 

I am very surprised at the response to your question as it appears that most farm men rely on the women to do the detail work. I did not mind in the beginning since it was things that I could do to help while he worked off the farm and I felt I was doing my share.

 

 

 

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Senior Contributor

Re: Cows and telephone calls????

My DH always waits till morning to ask for some piece of paper!  I am trying to get out the door to go to work and he asks for some paper that I am sure I laid on the table for him to deal with weeks ago!  I lay out things that i feel he needs to review or deal with when we get them in the mail.  They sit, and sit.  Then it is time to clean the table for supper or for company and then in the pile they go.  This morning, I didn't find what he needed, was 10 minutes late for work (no biggy really).  I thought I went through all my piles, but no find.  One of our land ladies asked about a rent payment that was to be made in March...woops...I thought the rent was all on one lease, but it wasn't.  this second lease had some changes in case of seeding down area's then the rent would change.  I didn't get that one on the spreadsheet.  so now he is home from his 2 week antique tractor playing and the leases and maps etc are laid out on the table for him to deal with.           I hate September 1st!!!

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Honored Advisor

Re: Cows and telephone calls????

I will never forget my aunt telling me about women chasing her best friend's husband, while she was still alive, but dying of cancer in a hospital bed. It was disgraceful.

That aside, both of us say we'd not want another rekationship. I am not sure if that is good or bad...I just have never even been on a date as an adult.
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