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Honored Advisor

Re: Dementia

Linda, I get exactly what you mean...it is an issue of her not being available when you could have really used some help, so why bother now?!? Maybe you could actually ask her for assistance, like with sitting and writing names on the backs of family photos, stuf like that.

Whether you ever really look back at them or not, it would give her a sense of purpose and being helpful. Would she write the answers in one of those " A Grandma Remembers" books? It might give you and your kids some insight.

I have decided to take the position that my own mother is slipping this way. The meeting next Friday is still a dread for me, but not so much, when I tell myself she is not going to drag me under this year. No need to try and right her wrong impressions, or answer her false allegations, anymore. I did that last year, and it didn't make any difference.

I am working really hard on trying to say to myself that I cannot control what other people say or do, just how I allow myself to react to what they say or do. If you analyze all the advice on this thread it boils down to that. Don't argue woth them. Dn't try to correct them, let it slide, let it slide, let it SLIDE. That is all about our reactions, not their actions.
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Senior Contributor

Re: Dementia

Glad I never had to deal with a concussion with my son in football. that would be scary.  I like the idea of Grandma's story, but boy, in our case....I wouldn't know what was the truth and what was dreamed up!  Thank you...Let it slide, Let it slide!!

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Senior Contributor

Re: Dementia

How long does it lst?

we have 99 yr old uncle, has it bad going back 2 yrs, now his sis is starting in, she 87.

patient here, have to be, but very tiring.

 

I assume no treatments, just wait til death?

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Honored Advisor

Re: Dementia

Once I made up my mind not to do more than serve in my official capacity at the Board of Directors meeting next week, things started looking up around here. Went to do my volunteer work at the bird park today. As soon as I walked in, one of the owners caught me, and invited us to a going away party for a staffer, that night.

Mike really likes this young guy, so we will be sure to go. With a two-hour drive, and a shower and change needed in there between the two events, thirty minutes is about all the time I have available to do the business of the family corp. No chance of the 2.5 hour harangue going on, as it did last year. Business, period.
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Advisor

Re: Dementia

My MIL is 86  she started with the repeating though not as bad about 10 years ago.    About 3 years ago she quit cooking.  Couldn't make a decision of what to cook,   Opened the frig and just kind of lost all interest in cooking and eating.    FIL  was afraid to leave her alone in the kitchen.... she hated having him in the kitchen... he'd try to cook something she hated it... and then the fight would start.  The move to Assisted living a little over 2 years ago  was a real blessing.  When FIL died a year ago,  she had  "a home",  a schedule,  and people who she trusted.     When dementia and ablilities  warrant it  get them where they have someone to watch over them everyday.    She is on the patch for ALZ/Dementia.  Doctor says even if it doesn't help with memory  it will still keep them calm.   She also takes  anxiety meds.   Usually only at night  but sometimes  if she gets too upset about something they'll give more.   Overall,  she doesn't tell made up or mixed up stories.   Only time we had that was a year ago when FIL  was in the hospital with pneumonia and he didn't want her to see him hooked up to everything and unable to talk.  She couldn't remember he was taken by ambulance to ER , unconscious and then was taken to Peoria by Ambulance.   Some of those stories were doosies. 

It is inherited.  Her mother and her sister had it. 

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Honored Advisor

Re: Dementia

I remember you posting about her doozies. In retrospect, do you think she was just coming up with something that seemed plausible to her?
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Senior Contributor

Re: Dementia

What is the patch?  My mom has a patch for Parkinson's that she has to change every day.  I am not sure it helps any, but Parkinson's is a progressive disease.  Didn't know there was a patch for Alzheimers/dementia.

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Advisor

Re: Dementia

The patch is called Exelon  4.6 Mg.  24 hour patch.   It is rather expensive  153.44 per month as I'm looking at the bill.   Just went and got the Part D  perscription coverage for Aug.   It says.  You paid 169.05  and Medicare paid 154.00.   She tried Aricept once when it first came out and her stomach couldn't handle it.   Tried Aricept 2 years ago again.   Stomach still could not handle it.  Plus,  at the lowest dose saw nothing.    Higher dose was even harder on her.   She already has ulcers.      AL  takes care of the daily change of her patch. 

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Senior Contributor

Re: Dementia

Does supplemental ins pay anything? At what point did you start this; at what stage?
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Advisor

Re: Dementia

I would guess my MIL was in about stage 1 when she first tried arricept.    At that point she knew that her mother had it and wanted to avoid what her mom went through.     Realize we have NEVER got a complete diagnosis of ALZ for her.  She and He both dreaded it so much that they  didn't want to know.  Her older sister was diagnosed with ALZ and died from cancer.    She finally got so bad with the eating, meal prep., record keeping,  money/$$$/numbers, repeating things over and over,  and lack of other daily chores  he finally agreed with the daughters it was time to take mom in.   CAT scans showed definite differences in the previous CAT scan years ago.    My best guess she was in stage 3 when she went back.  First for Aricept pills.  One Daugther went for a consultation with the doctor.  What we really wanted was the ALZ diagnoses so she would be elgible for Long term Care insurance to kick in.  He wasn't willing to do it at that time  but did agree to bad dementia.    I was with her when she went to the second appointment.   (FIL said he was sick but I think more he didn't want to be there for the questions).  She knew her kids names and knew oldest to youngest.   She named 3 out of 9 grandchildren.  She could not tell you the last time she had seen her youngest.   It had been 2 weeks  she said 6 months.        That was a little over a year ago.  He agreed pills were doing nothing and suggested the patch for less side effects.    She cried at that appointment.   We got to the car I suggested a trip to Dairy Queen.  She forgot the appointment and problems she had entirely  by the time I got her back.   Her next 6 month appointment was to have been the day of his funeral.  Of course we cancelled and GP  agreed there was no need to send her back now... and writes the scrip.  She is probably in stage  5 now.    With a real good letter,  help for AL for filling out forms and Dr. office we got her elgible for LTC insurance payments starting this past November.  

  Right now she is in Stage 3  Coverage Gap of Medicare.    Medicare is paying a bit over 50% of Exelon.  as best as I can tell.    In March.. plan paid 279.05  we paid 44.00  Medicare paid nothing.   She has Blue Cross.    Hope this helps. 

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