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Senior Contributor

Flustered with school

The school just keeps coming up with things to make these kids lives harder.  Now they are saying they don't even want to see a hat even if they carry it.  Son got a detention for wearing his.  The notice came in the mail, I don't even think they told him he got it.  He was asked to put his hat in his locker and he said he didn't use his locker.  I suppose its disrespect, but why don't they just say there is zero tolerance and let it be at that and say something like...starting tommorrow.  Really now, if a student takes his hat off in class, what is the problem.  Guess I'll have to hide the hat the poor kid lives in and has worn for the last three years.  Can the school just quit picking on these kids. I can't believe how many people say they can't wait to get their kids out of there. 

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15 Replies
Honored Advisor

Re: Flustered with school

There has to be a reasonable safety concern to justify such nitpicking...and, in the case of carrying a hat, it would be hard. To imagine what that concern might be, I will honestly admit that one reason I found teaching so difficult to enjoy was the dictatorships that some administrators ran, and expected us as teachers to enforce. Is it possible that the hat thing has arisen because some kids whip them off when they get caught wearing them? Not having them even in hand sort of sounds that way to me. there may be a bit more to the story than the version you'vw gotten thus far. Am not saying your son is wrong, but the truth usually lies in the middle ground between versions. It is really tough to have to deal with an absolute policy like " zero tolerance.". Like " always" and " never" , such a hard and fast rule allows no room for judgment calls. You end up with unfair outcomes, in an effort to be completely fair...it is a Catch- 22....
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Veteran Contributor

Re: Flustered with school

It may not be only a safety concern, it may be they want a policy in place that there would be no head coverings to be ready for the day a Muslim girl tries wearing a head covering and wants a Sharia law exemption/ toehold. Or, if black boys want to wear the array of skull caps and hats they have worn in the past that are large enough to hide guns/knives/drugs in. Not to single out black boys versus white boys, but it was more common in the inner cities with those great big puffy knited hats worn by gang members. 

I think we are used to rural boys wearing NIke ballcaps and we see no problem with them, but in other areas they can represent gangs or other problems. 

 

And if this young man is anything like MY son was, he swears no one told him it was class picture day, and yet everyone else made it to the appointed place and time and my son was nowhere to be found...........  it may have been announced any number of times in many ways in school that there would be no hats worn, but he didn't get the message. In my sons freshman year book, it looks like he never went as he missed every single group picture he was a part of. He swears it must have been a conspiracy...  Smiley Happy  

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Senior Contributor

Re: Flustered with school

This joke I recently recieved might fit this discussion.

Kind of points out the problem with perception of rules.

 

My Favourite Animal

Our teacher asked what my favourite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."

She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favourite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was  probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.

I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favourite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told  her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most.

I told her, "Colonel Sanders."

Guess where I am now...

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Senior Contributor

Re: Flustered with school

There was a discussion in Agforum recently about bullying and abuse in school and Sam led me to these links.

You may find some thoughts in this series of articles that could be helpfull.

Not sure if the school admin and teachers could be persuaded to read them too or not.

 

This is about a school with a totally different system of operation

http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201105/bullying/freedom-abuse

 

And a lead in to the previous article would be this one on bullying

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/201005/school-bullying-tragic-cost-forced-schoolin...

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Senior Contributor

Were you born in a barn?

That was what was said to anyone wearing a cap or hat indoors when I was young. Even not so young.

 

Common courtesy and manners are taught at home. Or not.

 

 

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Honored Advisor

Re: Flustered with school

It is kind of sad that hats are stashes for weapons for some, which was what I meant about safety concerns in my initial reply. for a lot of boys, i think a hat is sort of a security blanket, or cover for what they deem as their own bad hair. ( Later in life, caps tend to cover the fact of lost hair....) As for being a pre- emptive strike against Sharia law or any other religious prescriptions, in the case of students, the religion usually trumps the system. Teachers who sign contracts are another matter, if professional dress codes are part of the system's policy aural, and they usually are. The student is exercising the right to a free public education, which is inherent in a lot of state constitutions. The teacher is entering into an employment contract, which allows the employer to have more to say, and is deemed to have accepted those conditions of employment. Your son's conspiracy is what I was alluding to in the " middle ground" part of my post. Frankly,I think that educators need to pick their battles, not laying down an excess of Draconian rules that don't really affect education. If there are really valid reasons for a rule, then parents should be Informed of that rationale, along with the issuance of the rule itself. The real truth is that our kds function in a vastly different world, in terms of risks and distractions that weren't even dreamed about when we came along. Safety first....
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Senior Contributor

Re: Flustered with school

Yes, probably a security blanket and it defines him.  I agree on the "pick your battles" thing.  i do think he is being picked on because he is a farm boy and not a "sports" boy.  In our school, sports are everything.  Its sad.  I really wish that the principle would have told him to put it in his bag if he didn't use his locker.  Yes, my kid was wrong for saying he didn't use his locker in the tone apparently he said it.  Thing is, my kid didn't even know he got the detention until it came in the mail yesterday.  I haven't asked him yet if they have said "WHY" they can't wear their hats.  Can you tell someone they can't wear their scarf or turban if it is a religous reason?  Separation of church and state....  Guess this isn't church so, I guess they shouldn't be allowed to wear them either.So frustrated, my kid isn't a conformist..that conforms to their "mold" that they want their students to be..  we are a rural community, but very few actual farm boys...and the farm boys are the rebels.

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Honored Advisor

Re: Flustered with school

I will just say this... The FFA boys were a tight bunch when our son was among them..some would have alleged gang. If you crossed one of them, there were a couple dozen sets of sharp- toed cowboy boots ready to kick your tail. So, that much stays unchanged. Kids tend to view themselves a srebels, but as a rule want to belong aocially, more then any other imperative. This gets so wrapped up in the bullying issue these days, it is sort of scary beyond what we knew as kid's. I don't know what tone your son employed...he may have been telling the truth about never using his locker. Some kids never do, and he shouldn't be punished for making that clear. Putting your hat in your backpack ought to suffice, if so. I would want to know why he doesn't use the storage available to him...maybe it is in a remote part of the building where he has no classes. Maybe worth asking....or, this could be a repeat problem. Best response is " Yes, Sir," or " Yes, Ma'am". I am sure you taught this at home, but a reminder may be in order. Like i said, I woiuld look and listen for more clues....
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Senior Contributor

Re: Flustered with school

Are gangs beginning to show up in your area?   It could be a policy to prevent gang recognition and a good policy if that is the case.

 

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