Ladies, I have been married for 26 years. Love my wife, would do anything to help her. The question I have is about her weight. She is around 100 lbs overweight. Has had both knee joints replaced. Problems with hip. Has very flat feet. My question to you wives, how do I talk to her about her weight in a tone of love? She has read the books. She eats the most after I go to bed at night. Since I have not talked to her about it, am I enabling her? Do I need counciling? Any help or insights would be good. Thanks.
That is a tough one. She has to make the decision to change her habits! You can not say much to make that happen and not make it worse. Couples counseling?
I have been that overweight...actually, it is morbidly obese. I have lost that hundred pounds, and probably a thousand more, bouncing up and down, and am not where I'd like to be right now, but am far from that level of illness. Nighttime eating is also my nemesis.
I am assuming that with such a literate and caring husband, she is no dummy.
Her destruction of the knee joints and now hips is enough of a clue. Obesity is a very intractable condition, and not really her fault. As Turkey said, this is a choice she has to make for herself.
Also, you need to understand that the rate or recidivism in weight loss is very,very high.
A good book to help you both understnad this situation, are "Secrets from the Eating Lab" and the "Change Your Biology Diet." They might help you both understand the forces at work inside her body.
Stress is a HUGE causative factor, at least for me. If she eats a lot of carbohydrates, they are her worst problem. Eating at nighttime is a bad habit, and doing the intake alone says she's ashamed of it, I think.
I don't think you can say it any way that will not cause her to confront the problem, and that is where the pain comes from. Like I said, she knows it is kiling her...but it does it slowly.
What does the family doctor suggest or say?
Family doc does say losing weight will help. She knows this. When she has a physical blood numbers are within normal ranges. Maybe a bit on the higher side as are mine. I pray for her every day. Thanks for your thoughts.