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Honored Advisor

Losing it?

Having a rough day.  Really feel cruddy...just exhausted.  Winn left with daughter around one, maybe a bit before.  We were heading for naptime, but she walked through and he had a fit to "help Mommy".  She was done for the day for us, so I didn't argue with him. 

 

I had to run out to this office, while they were having a lunch break, to write a few checks, and look on email for next week's trucking schedule.  That's still not here, so I am pretty much stuck as far making any plans for next week, until it does arrive.   

 

Have a water heater plumbing problem at one of the good renters' houses in VA. I called our helper, and diverted him from my spare house to there.  Son is with him now, running to pick up a replacement one, so it should be fixed before dark.  One of those times I am glad son carries our credit cards to buy parts and materials. 

 

Just looked at Mike a few minutes ago, and said the Sam's list is pushing my ability to handle it alone...could we please go together tomorrow, and stay over at Jenna's for one night?  It's been two weeks. 

 

He was in agreement. Finally got the point across that I know everyone has been under the gun, but one day of rest might not be all bad...but, NO, daughter has another horse show somewhere. 

 

This is  when I hate being the business owner, the mature one, who has to eat the disappointment and stay put, when I really want so badly to be somewhere else myself.  Neither of us has had a real break in too long to count. 

 

I was hoping for a quiet supper, and a rock on the porch.  Nothing fancy, nothing pricey...just a quiet evenign out of sight of this pressure cooker here. 

 

What do you tell yourself when you feel like you're losing it?

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15 Replies
Senior Contributor

Re: Losing it?

You deserve to tell the others a big fat NO so you can help them in the future.

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Senior Contributor

Re: Losing it?

The stress level around here is through the roof. Seems pretty much nothing is going very smoothly and don't see an end until expansion is complete Just about everything is coming out over budget. Started with the layer of clay wasn't as deep as thought and they had to move a lot more dirt to get what was needed; to haulers being really uncooperative, to cow prices through the roof.
Still don't have washing machine in house nor light in my kitchen. So I just keep most of my opinions to myself and get my stuff and a little extra done.
Looks like I will pretty much be spending next week in parlor getting the crews back into some of the protocols they've decided to tweak for themselves. Youngest son and youngest daughter will be home end of Sept and I am looking forward to that. Will be back in Florida mid Oct for arrival of new granddaughter. Hope I can get all the fall cleanup pretty much done before that
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Senior Contributor

Re: Losing it?

The stress level here is highly elevated too.  I don't see any let up for two and half weeks. DDS truck has a break and DS and DGS have worked to long sessions at the college to fix it without success and that on top of regular stress time on the farm.  We are meeting with attorney for deposition due to broken femur. Antique tractor show is in two weeks where we are booked for a booth.  I now remember saying after last year that I was not doing that again. And a heat wave after weeks of cool weather.

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Senior Contributor

Re: Losing it?

With what I'm going through, I realize that I can't try to do everything. There is a limit to yourself, and please don't try to overextend it, because you'll get bit in the butt if you do. There are only so many hours to live, so try to make your lives as pleasant as possible. That is the best present you can give to the ones you love, you can give more when you're not constantly tired.

 

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Honored Advisor

Re: Losing it?

Dairymom, you folks are in a major expansion mode...I have never seen one of those actually come in on budget. Too many points for costs to escalate, unless you tightly control change orders.

Our beef cattle diversification is minor by comparison. Mike is strung out with building the next section of fence for pasture, but I think he will make good progress today, if just not rained out. That is about a 30% possibility.

My son and helper in VA handled replacing the water heater for the tenants within a few hours of us receiving the call. I do not think I could do without my morning soak and evening hot shower. Don't know how you are managing without a washing machine.

We have had to take the hired guy off weekend walkthroughs...he was missing too much. Daughter now does them instead, except when she's gone overnights for big shows. I will be glad when she outgrows this addiction!

Hope things settle down for you, and that you enjoy the family visits and your trip.
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Advisor

Re: Losing it?

So thankful to say we are not in a stressed out mode.   First it rained  yesterday and just got done...  Sure we are close to 3"  for the two days without checking the rain gauge.   This is the lull before the harvest storm.     We get pigs on Sept. 9th and I'm not pushed to get ready.       

  Took Ainsley home yesterday.   Left at 12:30 pm and  home by 8 PM.   6 hours of driving.    She loves  Frozen!   Turn on a portable DVD player and she's good as long as she doesn't push the wrong button.   Still likes to push buttons.   She really only likes the songs.   In her rush to get to  "Let is Go",  too often she'd start pushing buttons and bypass  that chapter.   Frozen is   priceless for long trips with her.    Just about have all her stuff picked up and put away.   Love having her  but  Grandma was getting tired.   Like my not so rigid schedule. 

 

As soon as rain stops will go disenfect hog bldg.    If I can get it dry, hope to start moving pigs  from nursery to finishing bldg.  today. 

 

Sorry things are not going right for so many of you.   But,  this too shall pass.     And just look at my tag line.    Hope life gets back to normal for more of you.  

 

Kay,   How is she going to outgrow  horse showing with Winn so close to starting?     

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Senior Contributor

Re: Losing it?

On the laundry it now that bad, I guess.  Mine will be fixed undr warranty next week and since the "event" they have gone to cloth towels in the parlor and installed a washing machine down there.  Not a lot of fun hauling dirty laundry down there and wet clean clothes back to the house, but getting it done.  There's just hubby and I and I do wash sons farm clothes so not really that much laundry.

It's the stupid kitchen light and lack of microwave that is really bugging me.  Finally forced the issue on the light.  New bulbs in and new ballast bought but he still hasn't reconnnected the ballast.  His brother is coming today to visit so maybe he'll find the few minutes to do that now.

Microwave in kitchen has been caput since I fried it several months ago.  But the "event did in the cheap counter top I had pruchased.  Won't let me pick up another one and won't just let me order a new over the range one with installations from Lowe's.  Insists he has to know how it hangs up there before anything can be done.  So I dug around and found where he put the specs after the remodeling 13 years ago, but he is still dragging his feet. 

Getting kind of fed up because I think some of the expansion problems stem from his poor communication skills and procrastination habit letting too many balls fall too close to the ground before he gets on top of them.  I think he really doesn't feel good.  I've been trying for 2 years to get him to go the doctor and find out why his gut is getting bigger and bigger yet his arms and legs are wasting away.  Something isn't right physically with him and he is really struggling to keep up with everything going on right now.

They are bagging 3rd cutting today because the bunker isn't done.  Something about wall forms and the subcontractor didn't have a line of credit from where they were getting them.  He got an employee to put the first set on a credit card but the employee wouldn't do it again and we didn't know anything about what was going on until the day they were suppose to be pouring concrete and the forms weren't set.  I may have that wrong thought.  It could be about the trusses for the big barn.  I know I don't have a complete picture of all that is going on but I do have suspisions.

The the one really making me mad is the operating money that was used before the loans were approved.  The title company says that don't know how to do the accounting on it and won't reimburse until they figure it out.  Well guess who isn't getting paid in the mean time.  You got it.  Me.  On a very limited household budget right now and I am getting fed up.

I realize it is all going to work out in the end but I may blow a gasket I don't want to blow before that end is here.

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Senior Contributor

Re: Losing it?

Where is your son in all of this? This is supposed to be his baby. Let him learn the ropes as well as the tight household budget. If your DH doesn't go to the doc, your son will have a rude awakening if he should pass, dreadful as that sounds. Good luck with what you're going through.

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Senior Contributor

Re: Losing it?

Our stresses aren't too bad right now, although I can't seem toget through a conversation with my mom without either being stresses out by her inquistions (I feel like I'm on a witness chair with all the questions) or she is cranky & saying I said thngs I didn't.  She seems to be more tired lately & can't do what she is accustomed to.

 

Dairymom, I remember the stress of our remodel into a parlor.  I wouldn't want to go through that at this stage of life.  Don't think I could handle it.  But most definitely, it was waaay over budget.  Which kills me that we didn't use it longer or put it in sooner.  I am finally getting a little used to not milking.  I sure wish I could stop all the publications coming into this house on dairying.  Tried but they still keep coming & DH says he enjoys reading them.  Not me.  Still salt in the wound. 

 

I think it is really hard to make transitions of any kind.  Kay, enjoying WInn but still with so much stress, it's hard to find a spot to equal it all out.  and Turkey, I thought you were retired?  Or is it just tired?  Sorry for the pun.  But I sometimes feel I'm pulled in more directions since "retiring" from dairying than ever before.  And DH has put on weight & this isn't good for him.  He has slowed down a lot since he doesn't have the drive of getting everything done before milking.  But I still haven't seen much tackled on my "honeydo" list.

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