Okay, let's share...

[Kay/NC]

...our dysfunctional family stories. What would Christmas be, if not for the odd and truly aggravating things our loved ones do at the holidays? This year, we will remember as The Year That Gran Griped. Mike's mom spent the whole afternoon at my sister- in -law's house complaining about her retirement home. It must be wondefful to have nothing more on your mind thatn savaging the nicest assisted loving arrangement in the region, which your children work hard to provide for you. It traveled from room to room, wherever she went. I got trapped with her, stuck on the subject, right next to me in the kitchen, while we enjoyed(?!) the nice finger foods that had been prepared for us. Finally, havnghad all of it I could take, I left for the family room, and told my sister- in-law that she " doesn't drink NEARLY enough to deal with that constantly." Heaven grant me the grace to appreciate everything my children ever try to do for me.

[Ruby Lou]

So everyone like the ham I made...I left about half of it home because it didn't look right.  I cooked it to 160 + degrees, but some of the meat wasn't the right color to me.  So anyway.  I have a BIL that is a bit too "educated" for some of our likings.  The type that is so smart he has no common sense!  He kept asking about the pig and how much it would cost him to buy one and have someone raise it and then butcher it. Even wanted to know what kind it was and my DD's BF had a pic on his phone of it to show!!   My DD even left the table he was sitting at because she couldn't deal with his "weirdness".  I guess my sister is the one married to him, so we can't choose each others mates!  Maybe I am the disfunctional one here, I go "off" if everything doesn't turn out the way I think it should.  Guys here were saying I needed a beer by 4 o'clock yesterday cause I was so stressed!  (ham and lost present and guys not ready when I thought they should be>

[Kay/NC]

Mike says I stress out, but then he sees his sister and all of her fancy decorating and a dozen or more dishes for a ily meal, and ( I think) then realizes I keep it extremely low key by comparison. I am trying very hard to make sure I enjoy the family time, instead of dreading the preparation. There was a Christmas a LONGtime ago, when Cabbage Patch Dolls were the craze that mothers were camping out in toy store parking lots, while Heaven knows who was watching their kids, and slugging it out over a piece of plastic that their little girls were supposed to " love". I sort of snapped over that stupidity. From then on out, I still shopped, but I consciously avoided the consumer hype as much as possible. I just want to see the kids and have a quiet time at home with them and Mike. We have cut out all away events but visiting with Mike's immediate family. This morning, my family seemed plenty happy with a simple buffet, that took maybe an hour tops to prepare. They filtered in, grabbed what they wanted, and spread out throughout the house to eat and talk. I shopped either near home, or online, for the most part this year. Some stuff involved advance planning, but that was online work or a couple of phone calls. It took an hour total to wrap every present we gave this year...spread into a couple of sessions on Christmas Eve. It probably took an hour to dust and vacuum yesterday, too. An hour to decorate was enough this year. F you strung the hour here and there, and left out driving time, I guess. Christmas was a good day's work this year. The thing that maybe means more tome than anything now is that each year, after we get settled in back home is this: I thank Mike for working so hard to provide such a nice life for our family. He thanks me for putting Christmas all together. May do more in years to come, but I really doubt it...this is " enough" for us.

[farm160]

I love Christmas because it's an opportunity to be exposed to people and experiences outside our everyday norm. I cherish the chance to visit with the ivy league professor and the NY city lawyer about agriculture.  They ask questions because they don't know or understand our world and it's a teaching moment for us in farming.  Our world is the unknown to them but we make a difference in the world. We have to take it down to its simplest level.  It's the idle chat while playing a board or card game that brings out personalities.  I love the quirky because it means people are being real.  We're not all alike.  There's the uncle who regifts the peanuts from last years Christmas or the sister who might not talk to you during the entire year but puts a smile on her face for one day to please the parents. I probably do things that are a little wierd to some, but they don't walk in my shoes. Tomorrow we'll have a group of 25 at our house so today I'll be busy cooking and cleaning.  But I'm not going to get uptight.  Three days ago we got a letter from the little girl we sponsor through a Christian progam.  We knew she was ill, only this time we learned she's terminally ill.  That puts it all in perspective.  I choose to enjoy the preparation and our time together and accept the relatives, bizarre behavior and all. Life's too short to do otherwise. 

[turkey feather]

This morning I feel like I have been working on Christmas for too long. I cannot work for very long at a time due to my lower back problems so I have been preparing for several days. Then it was decided to have our Christmas tonight since DD was having her DH family (20)  for the first time at  her home after the new kitchen and expanded space. She was still cleaning up and putting away from all of that mess.

Then yesterday morning DGS and sister and dad all became ill with stomach problems. DDIL thought she was working at the hospital Christmas and Christmas eve but since the numbers were down she did not work. So they were home all day sick.  Now I am thinking we should wait until the week-end if they have any symptoms at all today. The barn alarm went off early and called us so I had to wake DS.

It is sunny and frosty the am like yesterday which was warm for Christmas. DH is wanting to leave for a few days now. He is down since we did not hear from DD whose husband is abusive. Week no starting off well. The rolls are ready to be baked and the pie shells are ready to be filled but the refrigator cheese cake won't keep until the week-end I don't think. It was a new recipe and too much work to waste.

[Kay/NC]

That is about as positive and mature- minded an analysis of the American family Christmas as I have ever read. I think it takes some charity in your heart, to recognize that we are in this together to learn tolerance from one another. Things that drove us crazy about the departed turn out to be the things you enjoy recalling most, when you invoke their memory. I heard that in my children's chatter yesterday. Our SIL just stopped by, to wheel out the red wagon and other gifts they left here, when we loaded up to ride with them to visit back home in VA yesterday. Thanks to Mike catching my boo-boo in assembling the tongue, it will actually turn, instead of going straight or in a one- way circle. That will be a story he and I will have to share with Winn when he gets older. It is the imperfections in life that provide contrast, so we can sense and appreciate the rare moments of pure perfection. This is the greatest gift of understanding that I have finally been granted, after a lifetime haunted by genes that call for me to develop monster OCD. The other thing you help me realize this morning, is that as much as we complain about life being the same- old same- old, it is the sameness that we cling to, in the long run. Predictability has its virtues. The first thing you always hear people clamoring for, after some disaster, is for things to " return to normal". Yet, they gripe and moan about " normal" under any other circumstance. Need to process that thought for a while....

[dairyfarmgal]

This was one of our better Christmas's since the kids were little. My son does not like Christmas and doesn't want anything from anyone. His sisters are just the opposite and love celebrating the family traditions. Most years it is all he can do to sit down and open presents with us. This year he was happy and ended up staying all day and thanked everyone for his gifts before he went home to watch the Packers play.

I had purchased a nice picture to put in our little cabin in the woods and wanted my dd to walk the 1/2 mile down there to help me put it up after dinner yesterday. My husband and dd's all walked down to put up mom's artwork. The weather here was about 35 and sunny yesterday. Just an all around great day.

My side of the family used to congregate at my house every Christmas when the kids were little, which meant 20 to 30 people to feed. For the past 3 years we have switched it up a bit and get it done the Sunday before Thanksgiving. We rent out the local rod and gun club for a day and everyone brings gifts and crockpots full of food. Then, when we get all done with the festivities we head out to shoot. My brother from Wisconsin has quite a selection of guns and lets everyone shoot. We bring our shotguns to sight them in before deer season. It is a lot of fun and the weather usually cooperates. 

[Kay/NC]

When I was in my twenties and into my thirties, I thought Mike's mom was slack on her Christmas decorating. She was in her sixties/ seventies by then, sinc edge was forty whenMike was born. Now, as we see sixty on a not- far- enough- off horizon, I get it. Our tiabletop tree is still a tree. If it only stays up for two days, as long as one. Of them is Christmas, so we have the lights and a spot for parking presents when the family gathers, that is good enough for us. I lit two candles and one scent pot in the house yesterday, and that was plenty...we didn't need dozens of them. My small breakfast buffet was gobbled almost up...so we had a bit of leftover ham rolls and muffins for our supper. I won't ever cut it out completely, and may find the grandchild stimulus enough to pick it up a notch in years to come, but I have become quite satisfied with a minimal Christmas. I would rather put our money into things my family needs, than in Zoe attempt to impress others. One girl I know posted 72 photos of her Christmas decorations on Facebook. There wasn't a person, or even a pet, in any one of them...so, what was it all for, then?!?!? Hope your family is feeling better. Take care of that bad back. Cnristmas comes and goes, whether we are " ready" for it, or not!

[Kay/NC]

That family reunion at harvest time sounds wonderful. I begged my mother for ages to see if her family would settle on something like tha, sinc e dragging three tiny kids to a dinner at a relative's house on Christmas night was torture...they were happy to see their cousins, but so pooped from the Sanapta excitement. They clung to it lie tigers, though. I was told the other cousins my age " wouldn't feel it was Christmas" without that one gathering...turned out, they all felt the way I did. it actually created a lot of ill feelings all through the family...totla opposite of what the elders thought it did. It sounds like your son is growing into an appreciation for his family...every family seems to have one member for whom this is harder to do. Otherwise, it seems that kids go through stages of attaching themselves to the family traditions. I could see the expression of that on the face of one of our daughter's friend's 14- year-old daughter, which she posted to FB last night. I remember a book I read many years ago, which explained that you could read a lot of emotional messages from photographs. Try it if you have some time...you can see how the attachments change over time, too. Your cabin sounds like a real sanctuary. I will bet you are way more particular about what you carry to it, than you are even about your house! We tote in all sorts of stuff I to our homes, but if we are smart, not much of it gets to the getaway.....

[chick06]

I know this sounds awful at this time of year, but my SIL and her husband were not feeling good, since they live with my MIL Christmas was cancelled at her house. Since we did not go to her house we stayed home and relaxed and later that day went to my Mom and Dads. I was just not feeling Christmas with the other side with all the nieces and nephews that you see only once a year or if they need money. So after all we had a great Christmas, but I did miss my MIL, since she is the sweetest lady beside my Mom I know. And before you ask, no she would not have gone anywhere, she always stays home. And my SIL and BIL are feeling fine, good to know this.