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Honored Advisor

Passing the torch?

Chance chat with another lady about my age in the grocery store checkout line today... It was a pretty long wait, because they were slammed...was about her daughter taking over their family meal, because she had built her home and eanted to host this year. I remarked that our family has been losing out on another get-together every year or so fir a while now.

The aunt who hosted my father's family has passed, the siblings on my mother's side quit last year...mostly because of one aunt's DIL. Mike's sister does snacky stuff Christmas afternoon, while their mom is over there from her retirement home. Our kids always showed for Christmas morning, but I changed that last year, so Winn can be at home with his toys, instead of beint dragged around.

We will be having lunch at noon on Saturday. Noticed Dairymom's kids/kids-in-law are taking over. Suey...you have put your foot down this year ( Good for you!)

i told daughter she could bring a pecan pie. She is already baking them for her in-laws, so what's one more? I gave her full pantry/ refrigerator/freezer privileges last week, for the goodie boxes she makes fir our regular truck drivers to the farm. Butter, eggs, Karo syrup, pie shells, cookie and brownie ingredients...I make a pretty good run at Sam's for that stuff.

Other than that, I enjoy doing the light meal...used to be breakfast, now more of a brunch/ lunch. I think I would really be bothered if our kids wanted to take over this gathering.

how about you? Are you ready to pass the torch for holiday meals, or is this still your turf?
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Senior Contributor

Re: Passing the torch?

This is very timely Kay. DH keeps telling me that I need to give it up but I don't really want to do that but it is getting more difficult. They enjoy my cooking.  The difficult part and it has been for years is getting the house cleaned for company plus the cooking and the gifting. Choosing gifts is not a natural for me. DH is much better. Maybe my standards are too high?

I have boxes and boxes of decorations but they are still in storage this year since it is difficult for me to carry the boxes up and down the stairs. I have pretty Christmas plates and enjoy setting a pretty table.

For the past several years I have had a dinner party for friends while the house is in good shape and everything is ready for company.  This is usually New Years Eve. I found years ago that it is simple to do a second one.

Another reason I don't want to stop is the cousins only get to see each other at these dinners.

Now you see where I am at.

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Re: Passing the torch?

Everythng in our extended family has seemed to fall apart almost at once. Jenna passed in May 2012, so we have a hard time "celebrating"...and, my father died Christmas Day of that year, so the date is a constant reminder. His sister, who was my favorite aunt, had passed in 2011, not long after her husband and the older of their two sons. She had pretty much held that side together....

On my mother's side, her sister's DIL, who is a controlling B, was instrumental is passing a rule in the church that no more memorials with a person's name could be placed after December 12, 2012. This was, of course, 13 days before my father passed, so my mother and sisters took it personally. I don't think any of them have been back to the church, and the nice marble bench dedicated to him was placed elsewhere. Needless to say, no real holiday happiness there.

On Mike's side, I adore his sister, who is the sweetest person ever to draw a breath. Just like his Daddy. Her husband is the one who had to stir up the fact in 2013, that their mother, who is now 100, thinks she is moving back into Jenna's house, with a caregiver she has chosen. This is despite the fact that she legally gave Mike the house almost 15 years ago, and we live there parttime now.

I thought that subject had been quashed, after Mike explained to his sister how upset it had made me to hear this ridiculous plan...but, no, now they want to bring her by Jenna's house Christmas afternoon. I have told Mike I will go along...but will not be held responsible, if she starts her usual criticism (of Jenna's ideas) there. BIL stirred this pot, but we get to deal with the stink.

I guess you can tell we are really from a dysfunctional bunch! No wonder we pretty much dread this time of year...

I used to have pretty Christmas china, which came out right after Thankksgiving, too. Lots of decorations, at least compared to now.

I told Mike we could have company after the lunch with the kids on Saturday, so he jumped right onto the bandwagon for Sunday. I think I might just need a rest, but we will see how I feel afteri his mother's visit.

I tend to do okay with the physical side of things, but not so well with the emotional side. Am really having trouble dealing with that right now. Hoping to resolve a lot of feelings in the near term of thus next year.

I love that some people do it up big, but that isn't really my style. I think you have your heart totally in the right place..getting the cousins together, not focusing on the decorations and such that are just too hard anymore.

I think back on what Christmas when we were young kids...poor as dirt, really. Everyone pretty much subsisted back then though, so we didn't realize what we didn't have.

I look back on when we started out...our first Christmas was a tree stand, some garland and cheap satin balls - not even any lights - on a spindly pine tree from the barnyard. I want to say it was $5 total.

Winn is about all we really shop for now. I know even these years are numbered, before he gets too sophisticated for us to shop for his wants. Maybe it is just when nothing is " the way it used to be" anymore, it takes a ehile to wrap your head around the changes.

I think that is exactly where we are at now....





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Senior Contributor

Re: Passing the torch?

Holidays can really bring out the memories, good& bad.  My dad's birthday was Christmas day & I feel his presence so strongly this year.  Don't know why.  

 

My MIL went way overboard on holidays and I keep trying to catch up with her.  Oodles of cookies & candies that no one actually needs, but those treats are still memorable to all of us.   And as tired as I am this year, I can't imagine the younger generation trying to do it all.  Reading this I realize I must be an idiot!  LOL. Pay for the ingredients then pay WW to take it off.  LOL. But I do like the house looking festive & sharing/making new memories.  Today grandkids helped with cookies & candies & vacuumed & hung cards up on the doorway & I hope made memories

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Re: Passing the torch?

Well, up WAY too early this morning...been reading and thinking for a good while now. Raining out, stuffy nose, and the cats are carrying on, chasing each other around the house. What nutty buddies they are!

Your post is really aboit the good stuff...working together with your grands, naking them a helpful part of the festivities. They will be really proud when this goodies are served, when someone compliments the house and decorations.

We can see that this is important to Winn. He handed up every ornament on this tree, and thinks it is his job every day he walks in, to flip the switch on the lights, then turn on the Santa's Band characters so we have Christmas music, too. Maybe the thing for me to do is grow some new traditions with him each year, as he grows.

Yes, we will all have some extra calories to burn off in the new year, Linda! I am still trying to give up peanuts...they are not Paleo, but as an old peanut farmer's daughter, it is a hard habit to kick. I am giving myself permission to eat them until December 31. Is that really only one week away?!?

Mike has been raiding the honey jar like a starbing bear. Gave himself a stomachache Monday night. He knows better, but the sweet just sucks away his judgment! He and his sister are the worst sugar junkies you ever saw....

Well, my head has cleared, and I'm breathing better now. The supplements are kicking back in, so I amgoing to catch another Z or two, before my buddy turns up.

Hope all are safe, with this wild weather passing through the country right now!

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Re: Passing the torch?

Holidays appear to be an opportunity to loose about 4 pounds of butter.  It is her house and you should respect that.

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Honored Advisor

Re: Passing the torch?

Excuse me?
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