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Advisor

What is feminine v masculine?

The wrestling discussion has stirred up a lot of thoughts for me today...maybe some feelings, too.  Many of us on here joke about being not very girly, and although I've weitten abou teye shadow and nail polish lately, I can count on the fingers of one hand how many times a year I use shadow, and in my entiew lifetime as regards fingernail polish. 

A lot is being said about aggressiveness and approptiateness of it in females...I've fought a lot of them, and they are not shrinking violets.  True champions in any sport tend to be a bit testerone-driven, gender aside. 

I LOVE to fight...it is my nature.  I do not think that makes me less feminine, as I define femininity.  This toughness trait has stood me well in business in a couple of largely male industries. 

It used to be a joke at our house that we thought boys were rough until we had our first daughter.  Granted, she is a yee-haw cowgirl, but that was how she came out of the womb.  Neither of us had any experience in that culture, so it was not taught.

So, maybe it is a stupid question, but I just wondered, as a sidebar to the wrestling discussion:  What do you define as feminine and what is masculine? 

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Senior Contributor

Re: What is feminine v masculine?

That is tough to answer. I think that with today's sports programs it is somewhat more blended than is past generations. But, some very feminine girls play softball etc. Today's girls will try about anything. Maybe city girls are different?  I enjoy make-up but it doesn't define me as feminine. I am can fit in anywhere. I can't think of any woman I know who could be defined as totally feminine.

Have you noticed that ruffles are very big now? I think they are hard to wear for some like our endowed weather girl. But again anything goes today.

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Honored Advisor

Re: What is feminine v masculine?

You know, I think back to the longer ring finger post I made a few months back...that is supposed to indicate more testosterone in the womb, which may drive a more aggressive/less"feminine" female offspring outcome.  I wonder after all how much of this we choose, and how much was cast for us before we were born.  Maybe Lisa knows Cassy's mom well enough to ask her if her daughter's ring finger is longer than her index one...I am honestly curious. 

I look at my daughter at work or riding barrels, and she's about as tough as they come.  Then, she will put on heels and a sequinned evening gown, and no one would ever guess how different she is every day.  Mike and I always joke that he looks like the badass biker, but I am hobbling alongside him when we walk together in town, and he says he'd turn to me to use my black belt skills if we got mugged. 

It is an interesting subject.  I did not give my girls Barbie dolls to play with, and did not read fairy tales where the White Knight solved their problems by riding up on the horse.  I think they saw a very traditional stay-at-home Mom and work-away Dad, but we did not stay stuck in gender roles forever. 

Once he had time, Mike started doing most of the cooking (he is MUCH better at it!). Whenever we needed a new farm building, he'd ask me to sit down and draft it.   If he was not around for an equipment breakdown, I'd tear it down and call in the parts order.  Hog work was hog work, for any and all to do.  Crop fieldwork, too. 

I joked with a friend after the candle party we attended Tuesday evening that I never thougth I'd see the day when masculine men gave a rip about home scents.  She had said that her husband - the retired town cop - was excited about having one of the featured flameless scent warmers for their RV. 

Then again, we've talked here before about how men tend to soften somewhat (their chromosomal telomeres start fraying) as they pass fifty, and women tend to get a bit more direct or whatever you want to  call it when they pass menopause.  None of this addresses the whole issue of "intergender" people, who do not fit comfortably into the male/female divide.  Again, it's really a spectrum. 

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Senior Contributor

Re: What is feminine v masculine?

I am probably less feminine than most women but my Dad wanted a boy. I wasn't treated like a girl, certainly heard more off-color remarks and jokes than I should. Did my share of work like any other employee, which included schoolwork too. Education was highly respected. To tell you the truth, I have worked dirtier jobs when most guys would simply turn and run. When you don't know the difference, you just do it. That has gotten me into many problems with men, who think that women that do such things aren't feminine enough for them!

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Advisor

Re: What is feminine v masculine?

It is funny you mention that being this way turned some guys off...when as I see it, it turns some of them on. 

I do not think I could have gotten serious with any guy who had to see makeup and heels on me every day.  I wore girly stuff in high school (we had no choice...pants not allowed!), but really broke out the jeans and clogs in college. 

Probably every farm girl - especially those of us with no brothers - got warped towards tomboyishness.  Then, too, those with big brothers probably emulated a lot of their siblings' habits. 

Mike used to like that show with Mike Rowe, until we looked at each other one night and said, "Most of these dirty jobs look like every day I've worked." 

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Senior Contributor

Re: What is feminine v masculine?

I have yet to find those guys that are turned on by girls doing dirty jobs. Most of the ones I've met are really strict traditionalists. That means they want their wives in the house or doing womanly work like nursing or teaching. When guys start telling me that I have to give up my farming ways, that's my sign to say adios.

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Advisor

Re: What is feminine v masculine?

That's so funny, because of all the jobs I've done - and that includes pulling ground suckers in tobacco and washing hog houses, as two filthy examples - I have never felt that any of them were anywhere near as nasty as what you have to put up with in nursing.  Peopel are disgusting, even compared to pigs.  

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Senior Contributor

Re: What is feminine v masculine?

Washing hog houses is quite tame. I've cleaned out sewage pipes with tapes without gloves. I've picked up afterbirth so the sewers aren't plugged with it. There is plenty of soap and clean water to wash off after the job is done, but just the idea turns most guy's stomachs.

People may be disgusting, but their complaining voices make even the most disgusting animal chore a dream. I can handle only so much irritation to my ears.

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