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Kay/NC
Honored Advisor

Wintry mix & ramblings

Cold and wet, really yucky yesterday here in NC. This morning, the temp is supposed to drop as the day progresses, so there is at least a slight chance of wintry mix...sleet, freezing rain, snow??? We have all bern focused on Christmas, so haven't mentioned the weather...who's gotten snow so far?

That last eBay box showed up with the postman yesterday. Stuck it into the car as she handed it off, so will wait until we get to Jenna's house, later in the week, to inspect it. Kerping my fingers crossed it all arrived intact, but I figured it would travel more safely in its padding, than unpacked and stuck back loosely into the carton.

Hoping that set of china is now complete. It will feel like another chapter closing, when I tuck those little bowls into the dining room hutch. There aren't any other promises to our girl weighing on my heart. Feels good and bad at the same time...bittersweet.

Haven't made any New Year's plans, and I do not really think we will this year. I have a sort of superstition, I guess you could call it, that the way you start the year sets the tone for the whole thing. We are about to where quiet and calm sounds perfect...how about you? Ringing in 2015 with a noisy party, or will you be tucked in and snoozing when the ball drops?

Suey's frustration with the shopping of her SIL has been on my mind a lot these past two days. Working to resolve a lot of emotional issues here right now, and I know how that gets tied up in consumption. Having the need to see eBay settled at long last, I will have no reason to browse there anymore. Good riddance....

Next, the trips to Target that I used to make weekly are a thing of the past now, too. Until I need shorts this spring (last year's are too baggy now - YEAH! - I have no reason to go there, either.

Cleaning out the pantries and freezers, we can see what we have on hand, so Sam's trips can stretch out further between, too. That leaves local grocery store for fresh green things, and amazon for the oddities I am enjoying trying, for new tastes and cooking techniques. Today, I take delivery on some jaggery and sesame seeds....

Will be stopping in at a nursery that's running a deep clearance sale, maybe later today ( depending upon the precipitation, of course), to see their statuary, and if there's a forsythia in stock. I want just one, to plant for a harbinger of spring.

We are supposed to prune roses when the bright yellow blooms of forsythia open. I have found that seasons are less defined by the calendar...these sorts of signs let us know when we can whack away, and not do harm. Do you have a sure sign that spring is in the air?

Still thinking about resolutions/intentions. One is surely to get more nights away at Jenna's this coming year. Several reasons for that...going to start another thread on that thought....
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13 Replies
turkey feather
Senior Contributor

Re: Wintry mix & ramblings

The signs of spring I wait for is the crocus blooms and the daffodils blooming although the daffodils may come through the ground way too early.  We also watch for the first robins and sometimes they can be ahead of a snow storm.

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linda/IL
Senior Contributor

Re: Wintry mix & ramblings

Hope you have better luck with forsythia than I did.  Bought a plant froma reputable nursery but for some reason it never bloomed over a couple flowers.  Neighbors up the road had several that went wild with blooms without any care.  Duh.

Maybe the trees that were seemingly far enough away, put out too much shade.

 

Mom called early this morning and was agitated in her mind.  Since she lost driving privilages she has slipped noticable.

Ronnie says I'm just noticing it more but I have a time keeping my blood pressure down when she is listing her problems and going on & on about how I don't understand.  Bottom line:  I am having ALL her bills & bank statements sent here and leaving her a checkbook for personal use only and I am getting some help in at least one morning a week.  Also have a dr. appontment scheduled for her next week along with dental (2 teeth to be pulled), and skin specialist also.

 

Me:  I scheduled my long overdue mammogram this morning and blood work which was postponed due to my fall.  Next I'm getting eyes checked/new glasses, and dental and lastly addressing this knee, hip, shoulder pain.  Since I fell I have pain on the one side of my body in these joints.  I know why the knee - may have to change doctors there - but the hip & shoulder ??  Arthritis?? why the one side of my body?  DH still has his follow ups & also needs a hernia operation.  Looks like a busy medical schedule.  Overwhelming but I hope to address one thing at a time.  Way behind.

 

I am not making any resolutions this year other than to take better care of myself.  I need to get back to WW.  They discontinued the morning meeting which was most convenient for me.  We had a small, intimate group that was great so I'm rather lost there.  Don't know any last names to call & see when they are going but I need to find my niche there before my 7# gain turns into 10 or 20.  And I need to call my friends for lunch dates.  One gal is like me with her mom so it will be a challenge to meet.

 

I sound pretty determined don't I?  Hope it lasts!

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Kay/NC
Honored Advisor

Re: Wintry mix & ramblings

Linda, just in the office wrapping up 2014, and saw your reply. 

 

First and foremost, please do take your health as a top priority for the new year.  Nothing else can be but so right, if that's wrong. 

 

As for the hip and shoulder pain on the side where you fell.  I can easily see the hip, as a lower injury almost always results in trouble furthur up the same joint.  Is it possible you wrenched the shouder on that side, in trying to catch yourself in the fall on the bleachers? 

 

Unless you have been taught how to fall, most people try to put out an arm to soften the blow.  I would ask for a full assessment of that. If not an injury from the fall itself, it may be that you are bearing weight on your arm more, like on stairrails and such.  Again, it bears watching. 

 

Your decision to forward all your mother's bills is a good idea, I think.  Her decline, which you see as accelerating, was already in progress, or she would still be driving with her doctor's blessings. In other words, he saw her starting to slip too far to let her stay active behind the wheel.   Giving up driving is just a consequence of her aging, not a cause of it to go further, faster. 

 

Glad you have chosen to hire some help for home.  I have thought about the same thing in recent weeks, but cannot really justify it in my mind right this minute.  I think it is typical to get burnt out on housekeeping this time of year.  Making things nice for the holidays just points up areas that I know I tend to let slide all through the year. 

 

One thing I have done is make Mike responsible for the back room here in NC.  He tracks it up and drops wood trash on his way in constantly.  It does not kill him to run a small shopvac over it every so often.  I generally do not make a popint of it, until we are expecting company. 

 

On WW, do they have a website with a group locator function?  Most organizations identify chapters and their meeting times and locations online now.  If not, maybe there is a phone contact that you can call...most fo the time, stuff is set up around your ZIP Code number. 

 

Linda, back to your mom.  What do you do while she's listing her problems?  Are you constantly trying to give her suggestions/solutions or do you just listen and as you do, the tension ratchets up in your BP?  

 

Is it possible she is just telling you all of this to have something to talk about?  Do you two have other subjects to discuss?  Maybe attempt to switch the subject, especially after you move her bills and banking off her to-worry-about list. 

 

Alternatively, as she starts, just jot them down, without trying to react to them.  I am trying to teach myself to do this.  A lot of times, people do not really expect you to solve their problem, they just want you to hear them talk about it. 

 

I have always been a "fixer" and suspect you have, too.  The way you tackled your son's recent health issues show you are tenacious.  Sometimes, that is necessary and good, like when you got him to the best specialists. 

 

Sometimes, though, it is just necessary to validate that you heard the statement of the problem, and do no more.  I think it you really took the time to actually write down most of your mother's complaints in any given week, they boil down to "I am old and lonely, and want attention." 

 

If her way of getting attention is finding problems to lay on your plate, then it might help to teach her a new way to get you to notice her.  Maybe start a family history project with her...get her to label old photographs, or write down stories about her youth and your childhood.  Set a specific time for you to sit and record her memories.  Some elders actually like to tape record their tales.  Something, anything positive!

 

Today got turned around here, so I will be hitting the nursery this afternoon, the office supply store for a couple of needs for the new year, and then to the gym.  The theme for 2015 is going to have to be flexibility around here...and I don't just mean my joints!  

 

 

 

 

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turkey feather
Senior Contributor

Re: Wintry mix & ramblings

I really enjoy Forsythia but it all depends on the temps. Sometimes it is beautiful and full of blooms and other times the buds were frozen and do not open. I do not have the newest variety either. Along the highway NE of here about 30 miles I see lots of blooming and it always seems to bloom very well. I believe this is the old variety and grows almost wild and uncared for.  I try to pune mine back every couple of years and that also affects the bloom.

 

I am glad you have made progress with your mother.  That should really help you in the long term.  It is easy to put off doctors visits and I think we all do it. Sometimes things do go away but you need to stay of top. Good Luck.

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Kay/NC
Honored Advisor

Re: Wintry mix & ramblings

A favorite childhood is of forcing forsythia in a vase indoors in wintertime. Seems like it was a ruby glass vase, so the colorswere stunning in a sunny window.

I keep forgetting to stash bulbs in the refrigerator, so they can be forced, too. Winn has a big amaryllis bulb we planted right before Christmas, but he pulls it up to check the roots every couple of days, so who knows if it will get to bloom?

No luck at the nursery on their clearance today...could have had all the Knockout roses I wanted at half-off, but I don't need them. Did find a nice suet block feeder with a copper roof, so we can put that out for Mike's hungry songbirds. I found a bunch of the blocks during our freezer clean-out.


The New Rules say we have to use them up.
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Midwest Farm
Veteran Contributor

Re: Wintry mix & ramblings

" Winn has a big amaryllis bulb we planted right before Christmas, but he pulls it up to check the roots every couple of days, so who knows if it will get to bloom? " That is so hilarious!! He sounds like such an amazing pup!
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Suey73
Advisor

Re: Wintry mix & ramblings

Linda,  So glad to see you are taking  care of yourself and letting someone else deal with your mom some of the time. .   I stated today  that my MIL has no stress with bills and etc.   Earlier this year she changed her  voting address to AL  facility.  We are not happy about this  since this means she now gets  mailings that use to come to the farm.  For instance she paid one political organization $35 twice because they claimed  she had promised the money and had not paid.    If you need any reason to go vote... realize my MIL is now voting?   2 years ago she wondered who that Romney guy was and what he was running for.   She gets the newpaper and reads it several times a day.     I think it won't take long for your mom to realize the bills and statements are no longer coming to her and she will be content about it.    

 

We started on the big house today.   Emptied the kitchen.  Removed the dishwasher,  dryer and extra lavatory.    There's too much food to fit here... but do I really want to give  THAT much away to the food pantry?    Yes,  this is stuff I've bought over the past year  that didn't get used.   DS  and girlfriend want a place to entertain local friends on New Year's day.   So  we stopped there with the demolition.     Time to get serious about planning this kitchen.    15% off bag sale  at Menards  would be a good time to buy pulls for drawers and cabinets. 

 

And baby it was cold outside today.   The building I moved pigs to yesterday is still quite humid.  Had to beat on the door and use a prybar to get in this AM.    Pigs were nice and cozy.     We've got a fire in the woodburner in the basement.   Whole house is nice and  toasty.   Don't have corn in bin for the big house yet.   Right now the auger wagon has hog feed in it.   It will be Thursday or Friday before I can fit it in the feed bin.   Then the yard needs to be frozen hard to drive the tractor and auger wagon through the yard to get to the bin. 

 

Better get rested.  DS and girlfriend are coming tomorrow to celebrate Christmas/NY Eve.   I've got 4 loads of laundry to fold and lots of food to try and find a place for.   Did my year end  tax paying expenses today.    Might have to do some more tomorrow too.   I'm thinking  8 can soup for tomorrow or Thursday.   Good night all. 

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Kay/NC
Honored Advisor

Re: Wintry mix & ramblings

Sounds like that soup might solve at least some of the storage problem! Would any of the rest make refreshments for DS and his pals? If most of the excess food is canned, at least it can sit pretty much unharmed while you remodel.

The hardest thing to do sometimes is situate stuff while you remodel. In turns, we had to replace floors, from the dirt up, in dressing room, bedroom, dining room and kitchen. Fortunately, had the screened porch for temporary storage, but not where you 'd set electronics for a couple of weeks, for sure. You know what can and cannot take the extremes...cold, moisture, etc.

It will sure feel nice to have a fire in the cornburner while you are working on that kitchen! People can just focus and function better when they are in the comfort zone, than shivering or dripping with sweat.

Just a caveat on the AL address for MIL's voting. There are abuses of that privilege...one regular somewhere on the boards here said his ekderly mom was " voting" in a facility for years, and she never saw her own ballot. There are voting scanpms in these situations, I feel certain. Perhaps best to insist that you watch her complete her own ballot, if it really matters to you.

Dumb question...can you just stick the excess food in a closet, or just stack it, in one of the other rooms? Remodelling a house you aren't living in lets you use really anywhere you want for temporary storage. As long as it's out of the way of workmen, it can wait pretty much anywhere.
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Kay/NC
Honored Advisor

Re: Wintry mix & ramblings

He is a funny kid. That bulb has started putting out the real shoots now, so it will not do well if he keeps uprooting it three times a week...we may just have to re-pot it in a clear container. Hopefully, he will be satisfied with the leaf and bloom growth, and let the roots stay set in the potting medium now.

We try to let him have all sorts of learning experiences. I remarked to a friend the other day that I will .et him take five minutes, to do a task I can do alone in fifteen seconds. Counting the coffee pods into their holder is one example...Mike set out his new box of them this morning, so we can practice counting to ten next time he's over.

I forget how much a toddler craves doing things " all by myself!" If you could see the accommodations we have made in this house, so he can enjoy his independence, you would probably laugh at that, too.
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