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caregiver needs care
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Re: caregiver needs care
We all have our limits for stress. I hope you soon feel better. Maybe your Mom needs to know you do have limits of energy?
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Re: caregiver needs care
Maybe it is time to be completely honest with her about your own issues with stamina and mobility. You shouldn't be doing loads up and down stairs...it is time to delegate to the men, or hire some teenagers. We bump some extra pay to our farm employees who want extra work. Ours now wants it, the last couple of them did as little as they could get by with, which should have been our cue to fire them sooner.
We will keep hiring people for some chores as long as we can afford to, and it doesn't make me feel the least bit guilty. Just because we " can" do them does not mean we " should" anymore.
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Re: caregiver needs care
This reminds me of the airline instructions they give you during pre-flight ---telling you to take care of yourself first (with the oxygen mask) and then the one's you love. You need to take care of yourself first if you hope to be effective or even available to take care of her. That's not selfish. It's just common sense. Hire some of her needs done, or some of your chores done, especially the ones that wear you down physically. You can still be there to support her emotionally. You can help her with her journey, but you don't need to be trodden down in the process.
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Re: caregiver needs care
Linda, Your mom needs to know that you can not physically handle all her wants anymore. She is depending on you for her every need, want and whim right now. She will "feel bad". She needs to feel bad. Winter is coming... She needs a push.
Will she be living in a town with shopping? She can take a cab or maybe a city/town transportation to go shopping. I've noticed during the last 2 years that the assisted living facility is usually a little low on residents right now. But, during the next 3 months they start to move in with the threat of being stuck at home alone with winter's cold and ice becoming a reality. Hard to think about with the weather of the last 3 days.
Yesterday my MIL had an eye Dr. appointment. She thought she should cancel due to the HEAT!. She kept thinking if schools were letting out early that it must be unsafe for a Dr. trip.
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Re: caregiver needs care
Another benefit of assisted living is that they usually have a van and driver for doctor appointments, meds can be delivered by pharmacy, beautician is in the building and there is usually some activity going on that she could be involved in.
I also think you should tell you mother how stressed you are and about you health issues. We all have to make adjustments as we age. At some point there are no options left. As I am seeing it those of us who have done the hard physical work just do not get off easily without very good genes.
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Re: caregiver needs care
Thatforced her to stick it out alone at the remote mile down a dirt lane little house, with a bad snowstorm that winter. Se had to bring wood up several steps, had no well water for a while. It was NOT good, but it did really motivate her. She moved in the next summer...I think SIL pushed the point or something, that she didn't grasp that her chance was pushed to the bottom.
Anyway, I would bring up the point of having more choices this time of year, before the cold weather.. She would have more options, better chance toick the place she really wants. It would be so ,uch easier to load furnishings and personal belongings in nice fall days, than in a couple of feet of snow, too.
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