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Senior Contributor

finally said "no"

 I'v been sick fighting a sinus type infection "mastoiditis" in the back of my head.  This is the 2nd round-I had the same symptoms in Dec.  Still fought an occasional stiff neck but didn't put it together.  Really needed to see the Dr. last week but wasn't that bad Mon-Wed.  Thurs. he's out & Fri. I had to take my mom to Ia. City for appointments.  By Mon. I knew I really needed to go but DH ran in from mixing feed & said his dad's (new) car wouldn't start & he needed a ride to treatment.  I hurried & changed & drove him there.  (after he grumpily said they probably won't take me because I was so late)  So much for my self care that day.

Got there Tues. & my mom bombarded me on my way home about her check book that wasn't balanced & some bills she had.  And DIL stopped with my GD who I'd promised to help lead some animals for her tour tomorrow.  They left as mom drove in.  And FIL was here also.

Yesterday I still felt rotten & put a roast in.  The helpers couldn't make it so they came today.

(2 extra mouths to feed) And BIL was supposed to come to work on that window that's still not in.  (3 extra)  DH asked how I was (rotten) then got on the cell phone to ask my FIL for roast & supper.

I said NO.  I'm not up to it.  He was incredulous.  What was wrong?!  So he asked FIL for lunch today!  (up to 4 extra now) 

God must have been watching as I only have the 2 wonderful workers and DH guessed he better let them help me clean the parlor since I was so "grouchy".  Some things do work out only they both have been offered full time jobs.  I'll miss them.  (we only call when needed) 

 

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4 Replies
Contributor

Re: finally said "no"

Good for you!

 

I know what it is like when you see your loved ones and the first thing they do is give you their list of demands. You did the right thing, sometimes you would think they would realize what is happening but they are so wrapped up in their own issues that they forget what proper boundaries are. You will most likely have to do it again time and time again, but you backed them off for now and I hope it is a while untill you have to do it again.

 

Good Luck

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Honored Advisor

Re: finally said "no"

Hope you are feeling better.  This windy spring has wreaked havoc on sinuses, hasn't it?

It is not so much being asked to do things, it's when/how/where I am when asked. 

If I am making a to-do list, fine, I'll add your request.  If I am in the bathtub, do not come and unburden yourself by adding it to my memory, so it is no longer your responsibility once you recite the need to me.  If I am melting down with a computer snafu, keep your distance. 

It's sort of like: "It isn't what you said, it's the way you said it."  

Good to know they all survived your refusal for once...bet they could live through it again, too! 

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Senior Contributor

Re: finally said "no"

Hurray! Have you seen the doctor yet? If not, why? I bet you wished that your family could be more self sufficient, especially when you are under the weather. Remind them that if you don't feel better, they will be the ones who will pick up the slack.

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Senior Contributor

Re: finally said "no"

I do hope you can see the doctor soon. Sounds like this one won't go away without meds. Take care of yourself.

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