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Senior Contributor

life chages

A little bit of rambling here, sorry.  But some of you farm gals won't get this anyway I'm afraid if you are true farm wives. 

 

When we finally got moved to this farm, after saving & working most of our married life, our kids were #1 a senior.  Still lived here another 2 yrs while attending jr. college.  #2 was a junior, so still going to school.  DH was puttering in livestock here and also working 6 days a week (swing shift) and I was teaching dance 2 nights & Saturdays.  So many days it was just me here.  To do what I wanted. 

 

This morning, like most mornings, we touch base on schedules for the day.  Since mom isn't driving, my days often are juggling her schedule for hair, doctor appointments, & groceries.  Then there are the grandkids.  Games and sometimes picking up after school and feeding them supper, etc.  DH was commenting on how many miles I have on my van now.  (chewing me out actually)  Of course, we also have Brian's doctor appointments added on also to this schedule & milage.

 

But I was thinking, how it used to be when I could pick up & drive to the mall, or lunch with girl friends, or a craft show without detailing my trip with where & why and "can you stop & pick up such & such".  You know, just a FREE day.  For me!  Sometimes feels like I need permission!  Since retirement it is worse.  Well, enough of this pity pot.  I am very grateful to have a family that needs me (I think).  Wish I could teach them to cook though.  LOL  Anybody relate here?

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3 Replies
Senior Contributor

Re: life chages

Sure! With retirement and my difficulty in walking, DH usually goes with me sometimes for his errands but mostly to go along to be there if I need him.  Which is good but. He HATES to spend money on eating out! As if eating at home is free .Recently when I complained that now I don't get to stop for a burger or ice cream etc whenever I want he was offended. He does let me drive most of the time on longer trips. And he is getting better about letting stop for something for lunch but he usually does not eat.

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Honored Advisor

Re: life chages

It must be a man thing...they either want to eat out or they don't. Mine doesn't. Mike started a couple of years ago, at least, resisting eating out. To be honest, that was when I really started taking a more active interest in cooking again. He will stop at Hardees between farms, if going on would make us really late for supper...but that stops as of today. That's quick and about halfway. We have both agreed the summer of wild eating (a hamburger out once a week or so is the least of our problems) has come to an end! We have arrived at today as our point for buckling down. It is almost impossible for me to control my eating, unless he does, too. About the only place we shop together is Lowe's,also slightly off our beaten path between farms. Now that Winn's in school twice a week, he is more likely to add things to my list, if I can fit them into the car. I have been doing a year-long " declutter challenge", sticking to it pretty strictly at times, more loosely at others. It is a very effective plan. The one thing it has really done is curtail my desire to browse much, and my shopping/ spending has really dwindled down. The one place I did do a bit of buying this summer was the local antiques mall. That was only to resolve a couple of storage issues at Jenna's house, and old pieces just look right there. I have said to a friend that I would like to swing around a couple-hour loop of thise kinds of places one day...but, between building my greenhouse and tripling hay acres this year, it hasn't happened. I need to pin him down and get the two guys to agree to doing supper, so she and I can enjoy that few hours. I think if you are involved with your grandchildren, as most of us seem to really take on to help our kids, it adds a whole dimension of responsibility. My thinking is that once that generation starts to drive, things will really get quiet, sort of like when our oldest was able to do a lot of the afterschool running for himself and his sisters. That's when I noticed the real free time open up when they were growing up....
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srrobinson
Friend

Re: life chages

Nothing erkes me more than them coming home late from being gone for the day and asking for supper.  Could you have called me 30 minutes ago and asked?  No...One night DS texted me at 8:30 from 15 miles away and said FOOD...ok, so that means that i have to get cookin.  Last night they had been gone for the weekend and i texted girlfriend who was with them and asked if I needed to cook supper.  They were 3 hours away.  I was going to put something in the oven.  No.... 15 minutes away I get a text...guess you can get some supper started!  Really people...if I did that to them, they would say " there is the cereal box!"  One day I was getting ready to leave for the day, had my purse on my shoulder...DH asks if I could make him some toasted cheese...I am getting the very short end of the stick lately!

 

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