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Senior Contributor

meltdowns

Kay's "always something" post coincided with a conservation with an old friend.  Saw her DH at the fish fry w/another fellow.  He said Susie was home-didn't feel like coming.  When I ran into her and asked how she was she said she was near another "meltdown" after already having 2 that week.  She's running the local food pantry & had a lot of paper work with the state plus dealing with some that weren't doing their jobs.  She had fallen apart twice that week; in tears & raging.

I don't remember the last time I actually fell apart.  Even during my dad's funeral.  I was pretty weepy when I found out his diagnosis in the parlor but held up during everything else.  I used to be more so when I was younger.  DIL is sensitive in that way.

Have I just gotten stronger due to living with all guys, or has the crazy schedule we have leave no time, or am I just a tough old B**** now having been through so much with the cancer in our family. I know I get really stressed & rant, especially here.  But MN, I don't think I could survive with my mental faculties with what you have been through.  You are amazing.  I guess God does only give us what we can handle.

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Honored Advisor

Re: meltdowns

Cannot imagine the strain of handling and managing a food pantry right now.  You hear on the news that there are so many more to serve, and resources to do so dwindling.  If she's a good friend, maybe drop her a note, thanking her for her good work..Offer a lunch date or soemthing that you can manage in your schedule...I know you are chockful of spare time yourself right now! 

I think a lot of melting down is hormonal.  Happened most vigorously when I was in the change portion of that process, but I was a longterm mess in my late thirties-early forties.  Now, I will say that may have been driven, at least in part, by metabolic imbalances, since I ended up with diabetes.   I attribute that a lot now to being chronically short on sleep.  It all ties together. 

We as women tend to take on everyone's troubles, in our family and in the community, it seems.  I do not so much meltdown into tears now...I will get irritable and snappish.  I hate to do that to Mike, since the kids are gone and it's all on him to deal with me if I am in an ill mood now.  It's just not fair, 'cause it's not his fault. 

This is where we have agreed to hire the attorney and let him handle it.  Mike says that he has started hiring an electrician to do some of the more complex repairs he used to do.  Not that he cannot do them, but that they frustrate him so much when he tries.  We took on an employee maybe five years ago, to limit physical chores on him and our daughter...they can do them, but it's punihing when they do that and their other work, too. 

We have both realized that this is how life progresses, since we essentially stopped building for ourselves a few years back, and hire our son to do it now.  I used to haul every new appliance to the house, and now just have them sent and installed.  This is what professionals are for, to relieve us of jobs that we cannot do, or no longer want to do. 

I just feel I am being "pecked to death by ducks" this week...several more things factor into that sensation, that are even more minor than what I mentioned. Some life events are hugely disturbing, like the earthquake was in Japan.  Others are more like erosion...tiny raindrops and puffs of wind, that eventually wear you down, even if you are a mountain made of stone. 

I'm just feeling kind of weathered, this week.  Going out for fondue and friendship this weekend.,,need a distraction and some distance.   

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Senior Contributor

Re: meltdowns

Meltdown...like the one I am going to have when I scream at my son for his grades!!!  I am not a very good mom I guess that I can't get my son up in the mornings and he obviously doesn't care if his homework gets done.  I know he isnt drinking or doing drugs, doesn't drive, just doesn;t have the "drive" to do homework or go to school.  I am at my wits end.  This morning, I told him he wasn't going to hi girlfriends house this weekend if he didn't get up..he got up...I can't take a vehicle away...he can't drive anyway.  And today was the end of third quarter at school...I don't like D's.  When this kid used to get 99's on his Basic Skills tests in elementary and middle school.and he qualified for the ELP program..(extended learning program for bright kids that need extra challenges because they weren't challenged enough in school)..yes, I am ready for a meltdown!!!

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Advisor

Re: meltdowns

I had a meltdown a couple of weeks ago.  A big one.  I recognized that it was a whole bunch of things over a long period of time piled on....then one straw that broke the camel's back and I went off. 

 

I have to be so calm and rational at work under tremendous stress that when I am at home I just want some peace and order.  When I am confronted with anything at home that spoils the peace, creates chaos or extra unneccessary work for me, I really get upset.  Again, that is typically after a long period of holding it in.  I don't go off over nothing...it is always a culmination of a lot of things.

 

Anyone who walked in my shoes for a day at work would wonder how I stand it.  I could give example after example of the dramas and crises that I have to navigate///every day.  You would think that anyone who knew me at home (hint hint) would take extra care to avoid stressing me further....lololol

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Advisor

Re: meltdowns

I would like to add that there is a lot to be said for sleeping on it....IF I could only sleep when I am stressed....

 

Things always seem worse when I am tired....I rarely wake up in a bad mood....but by bedtime I am irritable if there are crazy things going on...

 

I wake up every morning with a fresh attitude and a positive outlook on life....so I guess sleep is a good de-stressor.

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Senior Contributor

Re: meltdowns

Well, it's a small food pantry only open 2-3 hrs. a.m. & 2 hrs. p.m. one day/wk.  Even then, I'm sure the red tape is mind boggling.  I know when they were working on the ground level they asked for help from the area churches, etc. and got fined because they didn't have a license or whatever paper work they needed to have at the time.  But my friend has always been pretty dramatic.

Must have been the week for "pecked to death by ducks".  I felt like the comic Gumby being pulled by helping my grandkids whose mom went on a trip, helping mom with taxes, filing, etc., my FIL who just isn't eating enough & consequently weak, and the farm.  Spring is so welcome but after the snow melts everything sure shows up that's needing to be done.  I've had extra guys to feed this week as they help us cut trees on the pasture fence.  Wish DH would just realize these guys can do the job by themselves instead of wearing himself out. 

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