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Senior Contributor

scary situation

Been a long time since posting here.  Looks like it's pretty dead but I do not want to post this on Facebook so here goes.

 

Had a difficult situation come up today.  14 yr. old grandaughter, who is on Facebook, etc. way too much, posting to friends and some who she doesn't know well enough.  She had met a 16 yr old boy at a game at school and had texted back/forth as a friend. Her parents were gone today and she let it slip they were going to get a new puppie.  Unspoken words; HOME ALONE.  He said he wanted to come over & she said no, several times.  Next thing she knew he had walked into the house and she asked him to leave, several times.  She tried to call for help & he took the phone away 3 times, chasing her through the house, pinning her to the wall & kissing her on the lips.  She grabbed a knife, telling him to get out, which he took away from her.  He did leave finally after chasing her up to her bedroom (she was going for her cell phone) and into her dad's office where te knife was.   She was hysterical when she called me to come get her.  He was texting apology, and she blocked him.

 

Her dad called the county cops, from the road trip they were on & long story short the boy is in jail.  Probably will be sent to juvie.  Have heard he is a bully at school, pushing kids around, etc.  OK.  I know this could have turned out terrible but I still have qwalms about this kid being sent to juvenile detention for ?how long.  What is the family situation?  I know he was definitely wrong and I hope my grandaughter learns a lesson here,  but I just don't know if this is the best answer in the big picture.  Would this scare him enough to turn him around?  Wil he be vindictive when he gets out?   Anyone reading this I would appreciate a comment. 

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5 Replies
Veteran Contributor

Re: scary situation

How scary for you all!  After all of that, I would say jail is a good place for him.  Maybe it would straighten him out before he gets to be an adult.  We had a niece that ran her sister's credit card up to the limit.  Spending a while in jail (not long as i remember) was the only way to get her sister out of the debt and it turned her life around.  Though not a regular poster, I miss seeing what all of you ladies are up to.  Have thought of you and your mom several times. 

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Senior Contributor

Re: scary situation

Update: he was released with supervision.  8 o'clock weeknight, 9 p.m. weekend curfew.  Mandatory supervised adult at home while there.  They are placing a restraining order which will be tricky for next year when they will both be in the same school.  Seperate hall lockers, different lunch periods, etc.  Found out he had to attend anger management classes 2 years ago, more scary stuff.  Don't know how he will handle these rules for length of time.  Thanks for responding.  Sure miss this group.  Don't like posting much on facebook.

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Frequent Contributor

Re: scary situation

Linda, I am glad she is only rattled, instead of raped.  

 

Do NOT feel bad...that was where his intentions were heading, and thank goodness he was caught.  In legal terms, he assaulted her, and may have technically kidnapped her, by holding her in a place against her will. 

 

Of course he is apologizing...his actions were inexcusable! 

 

Hopefully, the trip through the system will scare him straight.  Hopefully, this close call with a bad apple will teach her to keep her life more private. 

 

Get off the guilt trip, Grandma!  

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Frequent Contributor

Re: scary situation

I miss the interaction on this site, too.  FB isn't the same. 

 

I will tell you from experience with a stalker and our daughter: Restraining orders and curfews are only as good as the patents enfircing them on his end.  Our daughter's stalker had a smartass family, who had twelve different guardiands appointed for him, some not much older than he was, so ge coukd go and do as he pleased.  

 

I found it out, when he and one of them blinded her on the highway, using rear lights on " his" wrecker, when she was coming back from her suster's hospital stay for viral meningitis.  I had called when she called me about the incident, and he was pulled in the county seat...but, they had to let him go, bcause he was with a " guardian".  

 

The juvenile probation officer was mortified, when zi called the next day, and she looked i ti the file and overall situation.  Still, I would see him out after hours, alone, running the roads.

 

They broke it up, as far as the guardianship fiasco, but she was never but so safe.  You folks need to really keep close tabs on her, until his trial and any appeals are over.  She is the only witness against him. 

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Senior Contributor

Re: scary situation

So many problems in this country are exacerbated by people feeling sorry for the perpetrator rather than the victims.

 

Letting him go with a slap on the wrist this time and next time and next time until he does something really horrible.  You've already admitted he's a bully at school, his character is obvious and not about to improve, his upbringing for the last what 16 years hasn't developed a decent human being.  How could anyone expect those responsible for him to suddenly become equipped or willing to instill ethics or morals in him at this point?

 

Once you had a relative or friend murdered by such a person your perspective will change, but why wait for that to happen?

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