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linda/IL
Senior Contributor

togetherness

One thing I recently realized that I miss from dairying is the time we all spent in the parlor milking.  Many discussions and solutions were talked out there.  Now it seems our time together is is flying.  Ronnie going off other directions to buy cattle or deliver, me off for the grandkids or to take mom somewhere.  It's almost like I need a list to remember to discuss this or that with him.  Often he tells me he's going to go here, then after he'll be going to do such & such.  And I have to stop to remember where he really is!  I never had to do that before.  He was usually out in the barnyard doing chores.  There's a lot to be said for a family farm.  Smiley Wink

19 Replies
Kay/NC
Honored Advisor

Re: togetherness

This factor seems to go in cycles in our farming and family. We worked together a lot before our kids came along, then less out on the farm together while they were little and so dependent.

After they hit school age, we worked together lots, then less again, as they got older and stepped into some of my duties or Mike's chores. Then, I just got sort of jerked out of my tractor seat about ten years ago...I am still peeved about being put out to pasture.

Have been Winn's main caregiver for 3.5 years now, but am carving out time with Mike again, by taking back our Va places, starting the cattle enterprise. This week haying my place tovether has felt good, but we only moved one tractor there, and so I am doing literally footwork. Today, it was picking up burnt roots from fill dirt patches, laying out hay covers, helpng him read up in an owner's manual and make a repair.

Next week, I hope to be the second operator on equipment. We' ll be here on his farm, and I get to get back onto our first tractor (1972 IH 756) to ted and rake. Silly to be excited about running a hay rake, but I am with you, on miseing time spent " together", even if on two tractors in different fields.

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turkey feather
Senior Contributor

Re: togetherness

I agree with the cycles. When we were young I was the helper until our last child and then his grandfather retired and helped him. When he passed and son was older I again was the helper. Now DH depends on DS. It is good that they can spend these times together.  As a woman I resent being the one with all the housework sometimes. I really like getting on the mower and spending many hours outside each week. 

 

I found years ago that car trips give us time to talk and discuss things. DH needed time away for a couple of hours too. He began, to my surprise, helping with the grocery shopping trips.

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Kay/NC
Honored Advisor

Re: togetherness

This may sound weird...but, I don't care too much if anyone thinks so, I guess. Mike and I have had my farm getting baled this week, starting on Mother's Day cutting last Sunday. It has been a wild and sort of grueling week.

I have't seen Winn since Wednesday, which is a long break for us. We have been mostly at Jenna's, although Iwas sent to NC for hay covers Thursday. Friday, we had a breakdown on the baler anout 4 p.m., i sent Mike in one direction for more hydraulic oil, and I got set over the cell with the dealership, to get the repair done this morning.

I was up and at the place at opening this morning. Besides the repair, I had some more hydraulic to buy, and Mike decided we needed a rear bale spear, so he could haul two bales to the stockpile spot at one time.

My farm is a mile long, at least...when we add the second place, it will stretch out probably almost two miles...long and narrow pieces of land, so lots of moving bales to where we will keep them covered until we have time to haul them here. Have to pick spots where we know we can get in and turned around with the biggest trailer.

Anyway, by the time they got done with my repair, I made a swing back through for fuel and on down to my farm, it was 11:30. We put on the second spear, and started loading two bales in my pickup bed, two on him, which really speeded up the accumulation. Figured out how to pull the bale cover over a big pile of bales, and then finished baling what was left when we broke down.

Somewhere in there,I got this wash of feeling...it was very intense. It was that for so many years now, I haven't felt productive. That word just popped up, and as silly as it may sound, I felt really positive about myself and our work. I kept feeling the word "productive" was something I have been missing for far too long.

Does that make sense to you?

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turkey feather
Senior Contributor

Re: togetherness

YES  I feel that way when I can do things that are unlike the routine daily household chores. Jobs outside. Productive jobs.

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Kay/NC
Honored Advisor

Analyze this...

...so I can grasp why this is so. Everything we do inside our houses and offices isn't nearly half as satisfying as one good day outdoors, doing yardwork or farming. 

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SLC
Senior Contributor

Re: Analyze this...

Oh how true that is!     

 

I think it has something to do with the physical activity..   so healing and healthy in so many ways..  emotionally, mentally, and physically.

 

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dairy mom
Senior Contributor

Re: togetherness

I will agree that it probably has something to do with the outside, fresh air and sunshine.

But really I think it is mostly that little attitude that is ingrained is so many of us that "woman's work" just isn't worth what ever a man does.  And face it, especially to those of us the age most of us posting here are, field work and machinery work, and even just simple yard work is traditionally "mans work".  Thus we "feel" more productive doing that.

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turkey feather
Senior Contributor

Re: togetherness

Is it that women don't think women's work is valuable as a man's or is it that men don't value women's work?

In reality it takes it all.

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SLC
Senior Contributor

Re: togetherness

I think there is a misinterrpretation by the person(s) not doing the actual work in the house... that if you are in the house, it must not be as hard as what they are doing.   Plus sometimes its hard to see the actual accomplishment..    Everyone can see the planted field.. but who sees that all the bills are paid and the forms filled out?      It takes all of the work to get things done.. just not really fair that sometimes other work is more rewarding or you can see the payoff easier.