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Senior Contributor

wondering

Oh here she goes again!  LOL  Laid awake last night until 3 a.m. wondering how I am going to work everything in.

 

Went to Chicago lst Tues. and they worked in the head of oncology dept. to talk to us.  Had to sign release to Peoria, where he had his first treatments, to fax what drugs they used.  This doctor wants to change it up to be sure it's gone this time.  But the doctor in Peoria wanted us to stay there (had his nurse call special) and we went to Chicago instead.  They do much more studying brain tumors and the surgeon was the head of the department with more credentials behind him vs. the younger but good surgeon he wanted us to go to.  Anyway, at this point we are wondering where we should go for treatments.  Do not want to have to go to Chicago all the time.  Wait & see game.  Go back July 30.

 

Scott, our oldest, was starting a burn fire of trash on fire and it blew back at him and he has 2nd degree burns on his r. arm and also a few spots on his face.  Arm is wrapped and has been debreved (sp?) several times since Sunday.  Very very lucky guy.  The kids have been so busy with ball games they are behind in handling their 4-H project animals and now he is out of picture for that.  Arm swells a lot yet when he uses it too much.  Fair is in 2 weeks!  Guess who? 

 

Cousins are coming to see Brian and perk him up as he gets bummed - doing well but cannot lift, drive, etc. yet - and will be here week after fair.  My cousins are coming in from Ohio the next week and are coming to "help mom".  Makes me feel like a slug there.  And I am in charge of planning a get together with the whole family.  Oh my.  all are staying at motels, they say.  With no air conditioner in guest room, that would be wise.  I did back out of Library  hour assisting, and bible school.  Too much.  And of course, mom is so excited about the company she keeps pushing me for plans.  I like the Facebook post I saw "I never thought about running away from home as a kid as much as when I grew up".

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17 Replies
Honored Advisor

Re: wondering

Linda, glad for the company for B, sorry for the injury to S.

As for planning a whole-family get-together, is there so e amusement park or other attraction, where you guys could spend a family day, but it not fall on your shoulders? Even a historic or nature site with guided tours...something!

I think we sometimes forget what big business cancer trwarptme t has become, and how different places really fight for patients, I suppose you would say. I hope you resolve this question, so the treatments are the best you can get. I know it is dometimes hard to define " best".

Is there any chance you folks can hire a former 4-Her, maybe a collge student home for the summer, to work with the kids and their animals for a couple of weeks? Something has to give here!
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Senior Contributor

Re: wondering

OH MY!  I work best with a list to mark off when a task is done and a time table.

I suggest a restraunt or someone to cater. Our church each July has a picnic to honor first responders. A huge amount of fried chicken, potato salad and slaw and tea and lemonade are purchased from a local grocery. The women provide a dessert. Easy clean up with paper products too.

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Senior Contributor

Re: wondering

Kay has excellent ideas.  A current or former 4-Her who is experienced is an excellent idea and would well worth the money.

You must not feel that you should do it all with all that is on your plate.

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Honored Advisor

Re: wondering

I just do not get how a family puts its mind together that the one petson coping with a very sick child ought to be the organizer of a get together. For Heaven's sake...say NO!

You would not expect your older son to organize something while he is hurt. Doesn't anyone else in the whole bunch know how to step up and lighten your load?
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Senior Contributor

Re: wondering

I would think the 4H leader would be able to help or give suggestions of older kids that can help. so sorry you are having to deal with all of this. I think that the family get together needs to be put on the back burner. If they want to meet somewhere, let them...you and your family will go IF you can. I think asking you to head it up is too much.
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Senior Contributor

Re: wondering

I agree with kay and Ruby Lou. You cannot take care of your family who need you now if you are down too.

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Honored Advisor

Re: wondering

There are just times to chair every committee, and times to delegate responsibility. Nowhere is it written that one person has to martyr herself to serve the notions of everyone else.

There are crucial decisions to make right now. They don't need to be made while you are distracted with planning a menu for a family event that could just as well be planned by someone else. They don't need to be made while you are teaching grandkids to show animals, which could be taught by a hired 4-H alumni.

You don't even know how long B will be traveling for treatments yet...may want to save some energy for the unknown, maybe long haul.

I just don't get how anyone/everyone thinks all you need right now is MORE responsibility.
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Senior Contributor

Re: wondering

I do so agree with all your suggestions.  However, I've racked my brain and the only alumni that were involved in dairy are on to other jobs or the ones here are helping their younger siblings to compete.  Our oldest grandson may be able to help us out to trim, etc. meanwhile Ronnie & I are doing their chores and training.  Actually, might be a good thing as we have more patience (I think).  Really he has the patience & I am the drill seargent. 

 

Hope this doesn't cause issues with the grandkids.  I do not have the same "sweet, coddling" way of handling grandkids.  I went up this afternoon and really got on them.  DIL had to take Scott to a wound center as he was feeling sick & his GP was out today.  He has infection in the burn and they are treating it differently with different meds.  A deep 2nd degree burn; needs to keep elevated to reduce swelling.  Kids are not made to really pitch in - until today.  I hollered more than ever.  I refuse to be the maid to them and the TV went off and I was on their trail keeping them focused even when they hid under the blankets from me.  LOL  Finally got through to them and we worked together and they were proud of their accomplishments.  Didn't get a lot done but the back porch is as organized as I could do.  Came home & changed into farm clothes & went back to help DH work the calves & water & feed.

 

DH lets them wander off with out saying a word to them when their focus wanders, but not this drill seargent.  Their projects-their responsibility although at this early stage of training we need to be right there.  Funny how families treat kids so different.  See it during the ball games too.  As long as they have "fun"-no need to practice at home.  Guess they will either hate me or finally remember me as caring enough to train them.  At this point my life doesn't have much room for coddling anyone. 

 

Had to run in to mom's at 9:45 as she couldn't get into the house.  Didn't understand that just because I moved the lockbox for for 911 house keys to the back door (she locks the screen on the front door) the same keys open the door.Too hard to get through to her so I went in to town.  I am just fumbling along and chips will fall where they will.

 

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Senior Contributor

Re: wondering

I see no need for guilt here. Kids need to know that when a family crisis happens that have to step up and take on new responsibilities. It is part of life. There is always another year for 4-H too if they are not doing the work.

I hope things go better today and that you missed the storms last night.

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